A personal journal share by Shiela Reed
This post is a bit different from the others as it has a bit more “energy worker” lingo in it so for those that “get that”… maybe you can relate. For those that are just starting to “relate”… I hope this resonates at a deeper level and opens more paths of personal awareness for you…
I’ve been in this interesting space the last couple weeks. During my vacation last week I found myself in what felt like “the void”. It was a most beautiful time of replenishment. My mind had planned to spend time being “creative” but my system really needed stillness and “presentness”, so that’s what I did. It helped a lot to re-strengthen my awareness as it was starting to be a little cloudy with mind chatter overlay. I’m really noticing my physical body feelings now when these things shift and occur which is really cool! I am noticing so much of the “inner conversations” that used to occur without my awareness and now I am able to interject, redirect, or even stop if it is not matching my heart at the moment or something I don’t purposely choose (I still choose ego stuff sometimes but am more conscious of it most days) 😊
It’s just been difficult to “rejoin” my physical world this time though. It’s hard to explain. It felt different. Like I chose to be “back”… yet there was no feeling of “down/despair/disappointment” nor any “high/giddiness/excitement”… just a feeling of being fully present in my body and my moment. Noticing, acknowledging and accepting it all. It felt so different physically I kind of didn’t want to move. At one point (maybe last night) I noticed my 5th and 6th chakras were too wide open and “information” was dumping in so fast it kind of gave me a slight headache. It also made my mental mind overload so I had to ask those areas to close up some!
Anyway, it’s been different and I wanted to share. My mind and ego parts are sure trying to judge and play that game with me about “not doing or being enough”… but I’m keeping it called into the light of my heart for the most part which has helped me “process” from that space. The main issue seems connected to knowing I have “knowledge” of things I can do, but I have both a feeling of “I want to, but I don’t want to”… so I’m still working through some new layers of where that is coming from. How I want it to look but not be so controlling about it all.. it’s so interesting to “wrestle” with how to have front end (projected) motivation and desire without the ego leading it. That now seems obvious as to why that is “together”, but my point is a bit of why I suspect changes have not really transitioned, my “passion” part isn’t fully active anywhere yet… or does it really have to be? Maybe that’s another form of an ego trap! Jeesh I have talked myself into a circle now. Lol.
Well, regardless, I have definitely found some new information behind it, so I’ll see where that leads me next. To be continued…
love and light,
A year in review.. while there have been majorly significant events occur in my personal life, it has also been a year of major shifting of energies for everyone across time and space.
Our world is always changing and while there have been large shifts in history, this year is one of them for us in this lifetime. While this time is one of transformation, we all are feeling the mental, emotional, and even physical effects of the energetic shifts of the universe that we do not “see”… there is a HOPE for a future of peace.
There is such a natural desire to reflect and ponder on our year(s) past, while also dreaming into the next year and our future ones. Yet innately we know we cannot linger in either place too long. The memories of the past and the activities of the future only exist TODAY. And this is when we create our new awareness.
While it is important to have our moments and live in the experiences full of all kinds of emotions, I am reminded that my fears of losing memories and/or of not being able to control an outcome often sidetrack me from what I’m needing to be present for and truly save within my heart.
I have struggled this year with anger, frustration and loss. I have also found deep meaning and profound balance. I have found peace in solitude as well as my way back to interest in connecting with people of my own choosing. I have felt weak, sad, and alone but less lonely. I have felt fierce, strong, and confident.
My experiences have been many… there has been much self reflection and following of inner guidance. I have felt an incredible shift within myself and the collective as a whole. I’ve closed the year sharing a level of vulnerability that I have frequently been too uncomfortable to share, only to find my greatest strength.
Although the last few years of contemplation and self awareness work have been necessary and much needed. (Much like a winter slumber or change of season) I feel it is time for activity and movement… a time of positive change and fruition.
I am ever so grateful to have the new tools to appreciate one of the most heartbreaking times and then one of the most rewarding times of my life this year. (I will write on these at a different time when prompted to do so) Instead at this moment I am being asked to share this broader reflection and message of a year ending and a new year beginning.
My desire is to add positive energy to this year.. I hope to continue to grow more personally and increase the opportunities for sharing of my gifts of support and guidance to those that wish to have my assistance.
This year I encourage us all to spread kindness not gossip
Share love not hate
Allow all feelings, let go of the outcomes and enjoy the experiences by being present in each and every moment.
I hope you will join me…
Peace, Love, and Blessings to one and all