by Shiela Reed
As I’ve meditated on the message of self-acceptance a few things kept coming in.
One – it’s definition may not be exactly what one may think.
Two – it takes a deeper level of connection to understand and be aware enough to continue this inner journey.
The “definition” as given to me through inner promptings is more about a deep self-love that holds zero forms of judgement. It is not good, it is not bad, it is not of ego. It is a most pure essence of acceptance and comes from our deepest heart space and connection with our divine spark of life.
An example of how easily it can become confusing or miss guided kept coming up. Although there is importance in taking care of oneself and at times, in being “proud” of things we do and “of ourselves”, it is not about being at the expense of others or one sided thinking. Being prideful in that sort of way is actually a product of the ego. One way I “check myself” regarding this is by first – being able to be aware that something may not be setting just right – I may have a twinge of “hmm that feels at odds” (even when I don’t want to see it!). That’s when I ask questions of myself such as “where is that coming from?”, is that connected to an unmet emotional need maybe?
Anymore, I have also been able to start telling rather quickly if I get a “defensiveness” that rises up, such as “I am so proud of this or that part of me that I must tell everyone about it (I check if I’m being boastful and maybe really feeling loss or “less than” in some way as the real motivator for my announcements) and there is also a clue that if I feel as if they “do not see how good I am” I feel hurt or angry (I check for other missing needs, such as attention, love, etc that I may actually be seeking from outside myself).
As an alternative, if there is a level of true heart self-acceptance, there will not be a “need” associated with it. It will “just be”. It is not about the recognition or notation. Instead it is the feeling of deep self-love, knowing you are living a true connection in that moment. The topic or event or activity and any outcomes or lack thereof, “just is”.
As far as the second part – I noticed as I have been contemplating this, it became clear that there is a whole lot more to it under the surface and it is NOT that easy! I have returned to my meditation on it a few times the last few weeks to try and figure out how to even begin to say anything about it and NOT inadvertently include my own ego/bias/definitions. 🙂 I was again reminded how it is simply not a matter of shear “will” or overpowering that can be done by the mind, emotion, or a “stronger desire”.
I simply cannot WILL MYSELF to love me better or myself more. No amount of affirmations or books or surface work will get you all the way there. It takes the deeper, inner workings to finally shift that part of our inner consciousness and that quite frankly is very different for each of us! There is no “one size fits all”, there is no “one book you will read” that will snap everyone into this space, there is no “one practice/program” that is guaranteed to work for every single person.
That’s probably clear as we think of the many motivational speakers, self-help books, courses, therapies, etc. that seem to work for some but not for someone else…
We will each come to this place on our own and at our own divine timing. Maybe some never will… that is part of a greater mystery for another day… 🙂
In actuality, it is one of the most significant steps in our personal life journey that we can and will ever take. Because technically without it, we seem to always feel as if we are still just a little short from “really getting it”. Maybe this is why we keep searching and looking? Like we know there is a key link that is a core connector for all the parts of our journey….
Having this inner connection, no matter how small it starts, is where the transformation begins. It’s like a small light in a dark tunnel that as we notice it and move toward it, it becomes brighter and truer. You gain the reference feelings of “just knowing your truth” and you find peace and comfort there, even if no one else does. Yes it may be difficult, but it’s at this point that we realize there is no need to force our own thoughts and feelings, or brag or boast, because we have our own deep inner true heart level of self-acceptance that cannot be taken away from us.
The most difficult thing for me to remember at this point, is to love myself through the times of doubt and setbacks, and remember I will always be learning. Because this is not a level of life easily lived every minute of every day – yet is it worthy of the effort to try.
May you start with new awareness as you take one step at a time toward a deeper level of true heart self-acceptance.