Knowing someone… what to consider.
By Shiela Reed
It’s funny how we can think we know someone through social media..or simple encounters and forget these “reflections” are just glimpses of a whole. These partial aspect of a person, come forward for many reasons and it can be easy to “judge” or “perceive” as if we know them.
I imagine this is often how celebrities must feel, as they put forth a part of them or a projection but have many more components that are missed by those that don’t “know them” deeply or personally.
We all do this, we all even share and project without thinking why we are even doing it. Sometimes we are left wondering why we received certain “reactions” – without realizing we may have kind of “invited it”. Yet we hope for and usually are wishing for something else.
Our depth of mindfulness helps us gain some navigation skills in these areas and I always find it interesting how I (we) can fluctuate so much from day to day.
This is the part that has my most attention and awareness these days as the true effort (in my “world” anyway) is being able to learn how to stay closer to the “center”. It is and can be a daily challenge. We are human beings after all.. with free will. We do not all choose the same. We do not see things the same. Yet the many underlying similarities are very much the same. Call them “innate needs” maybe but it goes deeper than that. A deeper desire for compassion, love, and understanding. The other layers of emotions block us from seeing THOSE similarities. Fear, guilt, shame, hate.. take us in the opposite direction and it becomes hard to “see” our own truth.
So we project, we reach out in awkward ways. We assume we know others when we don’t. Others assume they know us, when they don’t. We can easily feel struggles of the insecurities and loneliness this brings and if we succumb to that or become stuck on that loop… the despair, depression, hopelessness, and anxiety that we have “lost control” takes over.
It is my hope that we all are given the Grace and find the opportunities to be REAL people with one another. Minus our judgements and freeing us up to be ok with choosing who is “good for us” (and wanted in our lives) and who is not. While also remembering it is absolutely OK when someone else chooses that we are not for them. It means nothing more than that we are not a good match. Or maybe even not a good match “anymore”. It is OK.
It’s a bit ironic maybe that we also need to learn to do this for ourselves as well. Letting go of habits, routines, thought patterns, etc that no longer serve our higher good, can be just as tough, but equally necessary for our growth.
I guess I share this as a long version of my own thought process and feeling into my emotions utilizing Facebook as one of my main social media platforms. I both enjoy it and dislike it. I have learned I have to be VERY aware of the technological manipulation that surrounds us and how easy it is to “get played”. I’m actually a rather private person. While I will “share” things, I am very conscious of the fact that it is “out there” and can never be taken back. I do not want to “fear” it, but it is a reality. I also know that when I am feeling that place of loneliness and disconnectedness – this (i.e. social media- Facebook) can be both a place of huge support or a driver of further sadness and loneliness. So, yes it can be hard to “choose” how I will “react” – and it is much more so when I don’t know why I am even trying to “know” someone else when I don’t know where I am at for that moment.
I’m kind of laughing right now as I think of the many ways I’ve wanted to “lash out” on Facebook when I am feeling no responses or unsupported. I’ve thought about closing it out completely, I’ve thought I’d do a “lecture” to my “friends” – I’ve thought I’d silently just let it go and delete everyone and start over with individual friend requests. Lol Then I realize it’s silly to have spent that time on something that isn’t even vital to my daily life. Yet I acknowledge my enjoyment on being “in touch” with as many people out there as possible because there is no other platform to do so in such magnitude.
So, I am reminded to “take it all with a grain of salt” – enjoy the parts that like, remember I only know the aspects of people as they show me and they only know me for what I choose to show them. Beyond that, the closest parts of my life are within me and those I choose to physically, emotionally and energetically surround myself with… and the same is true for each of you. 🙂
Many blessings and open awareness to all – Shiela 🙂