January 2020 Message of the Month – Balance of Past, Present, and Future

Balance of Past, Present, and Future

by Shiela Reed

Welcome to 2020! A new year and new decade!

What an amazing time to be alive! There is so much going on and I find myself embracing this life as I know it now. This is quite a bit different than how I have known things. It’s nice to actually finally feel that things are coming together.

I had been mostly aware and connected to my physical beingness as far as an outward expression, up to around 2010 and had always felt and had a very “separateness” to my inner self and awareness. I always knew it was there, and I actually always knew what it was saying, but I found myself often “ignoring it”. I kept choosing to be connected to one or the other at different points and finally realized I actually wasn’t “balanced” at all! Instead I needed to “blend” so it was one, the other, both, the same, and neither all at once.

My journey up to that point was a lot of reconciling the past, so as I went deeper into my inner soul journey and what I “thought” that needed to be, I found I really started to separate from my physical and didn’t exactly realize it. So over these years of inner work and “leaving out the physical” – I really just perpetuated a different version of the same duality. As that came more into my awareness the last couple of years I have found myself kind of naturally working on melding/blending/balancing them and naturally finding the inclusion of all my aspects. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual/soul, energetic/etheric.
Interestingly enough, it is not until now, at this point in time, have I really felt such a cool “clearness” to this awareness and what it feels like to kind of be “together” in ONE.

So as I meditate and contemplate this season of my life and feel the awareness of my previous work and especially how the first half of this last decade began to pull together the acknowledgment that my past experiences were learning opportunities, was I able to start to be able to truly embrace and forgive myself for not “knowing everything”. I learned to allow healing of much of my “past”. And as the mid to later parts of the last decade began to show me how to begin looking at the importance of becoming more in-tune with my present self, I found myself naturally ending the last year of this decade also becoming more aware that my future self has something to contribute as well. I find a deep self healing resonance in this space as my true self shows me the creation of my own trinity of “full self”.

THIS has been the most recent work I have been doing and it is very humbling how this has shown itself to me and how the next decade of the journey for me is to be about further combining, melding, and balancing all three to feel true PEACE in my present moments.

So I feel compelled to share the message of this month, the first month of a new year and new decade- as it is time to feel balance in our past, present, and future.

As I draw from my own journey and works and the message that has come forward for this month and year, my hope is that there is something that resonates to move you one step closer to your own true purpose in your own journey.

While we all have different places we are at, there is a need for understanding and remembering that it’s all important, but just in different ways than our mind tries to understand it. I believe this is why it is difficult to write and share it sometimes.

We may know mentally that the “past is the past”, but we don’t understand why we cannot seem to “let go” of something in particular. This is the example of an energetic tie which is usually related to an element of our ego needs being met somehow. We either found safety, solace, acceptance, justification or any other number of “pay off’s” that we thought were meant to “make us feel better” or “support” us in some way.

For me, a very important turning point was being able to truly see that we do the best we can with what we have at the time and I feel that with true heartfelt compassion. While I’ve always said that and known it, I strangely realized, I had seemed to always do this much more freely with others than I could for myself. This is likely why I was drawn to being part of the helping field professions. Once I noticed this began to shift for me, it helped me see there was so much more to my “aliveness”.

I began to see the effects on my “nowness”. So this understanding that truly being PRESENT then expanded to include learning how to reconcile my own past within myself. We can see that occur for people when there is a deeper level of forgiveness that truly has “no strings attached” and it’s expression radiates with a feeling of unconditional love. When I started to feel that for myself, it was amazing the warmth and expansion I felt within.

The present became something that was “more” than it had been. It now included a healed part of me.

Today, there is a recognition that my newest understanding of “being present” also has inclusion of the future. Not as in controlling it and/or being afraid of it, which is what I found to be blocking my ability to truly to connect to it. But a similar kind of lovingness I learned to have by embracing my past.  The ability gain the balance of having a connection to my future self is equally important and necessary for me to truly be PRESENT in my current moments.

As this has also been expanding for me, I feel the beginnings of a similar shift. A space of new awareness and growth. It shows me new information about myself and the world I’m a part of. This change and paradigm shift in our present world seems to be reflecting similarly in many others. It says “balance the past and future to create the truest form of the present”.

Clearly we each have our own role/part in this process. It does not mean the present becomes “perfect”. Every “part” still contributes to the “whole”. So they won’t be the same.  So we will need to pay attention to being drawn to judgement, of self or others.  We will learn to be “ok” with different because deep down we know WE are ok too.

I am truly hopeful that as this year unfolds and the exciting new things emerge- we can all begin to see how we can each choose our parts to contribute to that “newness” and begin to do that more and more together. By combining the cool differences to create something new.  A new invention, a new theory, a new thought, a new way of life….  Even if we are different from one another.

So may your reflections on your past show you your life lessons and your true inner self show you how to be easy with yourself and others, as you learn to allow those lessons to unfold into new experiences in the present. And in these new experiences may we all be able to see the excitement of a new lesson and the opportunities it brings while not being fearful of our future.  Thus we may fully embrace being a soul with a body in this world.  And so it is…

Many blessings and hopes for a new year and decade full of building blocks that will be the solid base we each need for the bigger future.

Shiela

DIGGING UP THE PAST TO KNOW MY ENERGY by Bryan Moss

When I began to learn about energy work I was surprised to find out that in order to really be proficient at it (whether reading my own or others) I needed to be willing to look at my past. The good, the bad, and even the very ugly.

Why?

Well, to spell it out in basic steps:

*We’re born as energetic beings right off the bat! This is our divine right. Feeling and reading energies is a basic skill set, just as speaking is to most. We are born to read energies!

* However, while being raised and taught by others (parents, teachers, caretakers) we’re influenced by THEIR interpretation of life. What THEY learned. What THEY think is best for us as we’re growing up. Good, or not so good, many of these “lessons” were ingrained in our ‘caretakers’ way of life back when THEY were young whipper snappers.

*What happens is, as we grow up, anything taught is either consciously on our minds AND/OR stored in our subconscious, and forgotten about by our conscious minds. Events, emotions not expressed, rules, regulations, all of the “how to’s”….EVERYTHING is stored there. We take the ‘caretakers’ words for granted. Like their ways and means is the law of life, we accept them as the only truths without questioning them.

*When adulthood comes upon us, often we feel conflicted about certain feelings we’re having in regards to relationships and experiences. When a different view, or mind set, is presented to us one can start to feel confused and mixed up. Perhaps “things” just don’t make sense. Yet we feel a pull to honor our teachings because we were raised “that way”. So we immediately dismiss, or negate, anything that “goes against the grain” in spite of our inner promptings which are making us question those very ways.

*It’s well known throughout the health community those buried, unacknowledged emotions can create a host of “problems”. Mental illness, physical symptoms, dysfunctional relationships are a few examples. Along with all of this we’re trying to discern what’s of use to us, or not useful and can be discarded.

I’ll give a couple of examples from my own journey to help illustrate how it’s beneficial to look at past programming instilled in us:

Recently, I recalled being around 4 or 5 and was angry and upset with my mother earlier that day. I decided I was going to run away. So I loaded up my radio flyer red wagon with my favorite toys in my bedroom, rolled it through the living room and out the front door while my mom was gossiping on the phone in the kitchen to one of the next door neighbors. She assumed I was going out front to play. I rolled my red wagon of toys as far as half way down the block, got scared, turned around, and went back home. At this time I don’t remember what I was mad about and that really isn’t important. But what is important is for me to acknowledge I had anger towards my mother even at that age. I was too young to express it constructively and thought I just had to get away from her. So I used the “flight” response in order to cope with my anger. Not knowing how to release the anger it was shoved to the side and forgotten about..buried. So it’s tossed into the “piggy bank of anger” and accumulates interest stored as anger towards not only my mother, but, unintentionally, can affect my views towards women in general. This can certainly create the perfect set up for a dysfunctional relationship with any future partner down the road. It’s impossible to discern specific anger issues in another until I’ve become familiar with feeling my own anger.

Another example is how it was ingrained in me that whatever problem or question I had, I needed to look outside of me for answers. Rather than figure it out myself, or even suggested to me that many answers are already within, I was taught to go to an “expert”. They would know better than me–about me. Externalization is promoted in collective society. Being taught to look to others for answers indirectly disempowers ones own innate, God given right to look within. Religion is a great example of this. One has to go through a middle man (clergy, priest, minister, rabbi..) in order to learn and communicate with God (higher power). Often it’s not encouraged for one to go about their spiritual journey without the approval of others. As mentioned in the previous example, it’s all of the programming and trained responses drilled into us, so much so, we begin taking on a false identity to appease others to make them happy. Before you know it you’ve become a person that the “real you”, your True Self, doesn’t really know but patiently puts up with knowing that the time will eventually come when you realize most everything you thought was the law of the land is, at best, all backwards and full of bullocks. Programmed to follow along with the collective herd, you never took the time to discover those “rules and ways” yourself, thus, never getting to know the essence of YOU, your inherited True Self. The Self that is already complete with the peace, love and any of the bells and whistles you may need. You start to figure out the journey isn’t about learning and accumulating more paradigms. It’s about getting rid of all of that and getting back to the basics you were born with…your True Self.

Re-experiencing (meaning NOT conceptualizing but FEELING it out) and accepting the fact those events happened to me allows the experience to go through me instead of hanging on to it by hiding it in the corners of my mind and trying to put it out of my memory. You see? By ignoring those feelings I was throwing gasoline onto those simmering embers where the inevitable spontaneous combustion was, and is, bound to happen ( as suggested above in the various forms of illnesses and dysfunctional behaviors). Over time, I’ve been willing to “let my guard down” and feel into the uncomfortable memories/ experiences in my past. I found that stripping away all of the conditioned and programmed B.S. actually allows me to feel more and ACCEPT what happened to me, not ignore it. Thus enabling me to get to know my self, True Self, better. Is this easy to do? NO. My critical inner voice, or ego (as other energy workers refer to it), kicks, screams, and throws temper tantrums because it’s sole purpose is to feel safe and survive at any cost, including preventing me from feeling and experiencing life fully with my Heart, the doorway to understanding my own energies.

I hope my examples may provide you with a clearer idea why we all should be willing to look into our past. Not to remind ourselves what injustices may of happened, but as a learning tool of accepting those experiences and enabling us to know ourselves (energies) a little bit better as we move forward on our own Heart felt journeys. It’s in the understanding of the lessons from our past, we can let go and grow. Grow into the expansive energy field of compassion and empathy for Self and others.

Digging up the past to utilize as a lesson, and NOT to dwell on it and cave into self shame, guilt, anger, (nor the popular mental gymnastics “could ofs, would ofs, should ofs”) is actually a very powerful energy modality for one’s growth.

Excuse me while I go to the hardware store and purchase a big snow shovel.