A Special Tribute – A Soulmate Animal

A Heartfelt Tribute – by Shiela Reed

I would like to share a special tribute to my special dog Bosco on what would have been his 17th birthday today.  As anyone that connects to animals will know, they can hold a deeply impactful place in our hearts.  And while I easily connect to animals and nature in general and enjoy their presence, I have been profoundly impacted by this particular bond/relationship.  So much so, I hope you can also feel what I mean and strength of such a connection.  May it also provide those of you that have had similar experiences, with a bit of comfort in the words and knowing that while we love, cherish, and hold these bonds, it is ok to “let go” and allow for them to be “free” as we know the true love and memories the relationship has held will forever be tucked sweetly in the graciousness of our hearts.

Bosco tribute

{I started his “tribute” before I knew it was going to end so soon

(10-8-18)

My love for you is unmeasurable. You have taught me much about unconditional love and how just a presence can be enough. When I think of you my heart explodes with a feeling so strong that I’m overcome with emotion. It amazes me that a little animal can have this effect on me, but what it is is a true vulnerability I feel safe to allow with your little heart and I just can’t quite seem to reach that space as easily any other time. I guess that is why I consider you my “soulmate dog”.

From day one when I saw you on Pet Finder I just knew you belonged with me and I would be your person to care for you for the rest of your life. When I got to see you in real life, the bond was equally set as you jumped from that tiny crate from a van that traveled from Kansas to St Charles with many other dogs. I waited patiently as others got their dogs until finally it was my turn and then there you were! They said you were “mean”, didn’t like men, but to me it was obvious you just didn’t “trust” and you needed someone with patience and understanding to help you. You must have sensed that too as you immediately became attached to me and is how it has always been from that day forward.

You have been my most stable and consistent part of my life and I am forever grateful. I know I have given you a wonderful life and you are appreciative of it all, yet imagining life without you is a little unbearable.

I have so many stories and forever memories, as we grew and survived some of the worst and best times together. You have heard my cries, seen me tears, felt my pain, and been a solid dependable life for my heart to cling to. We have ended up going many places and being together nonstop when it was just us.

Your love for the drive thru (notably french fries) and a little cappuccino here and there were bonding food moments. There is nothing I wouldn’t share with you or do for you. I love my car rides and you ended up loving them too. You are the best travel buddy and as bonded as we have been, I could take you anywhere and know you would be close by. I’ll never forget taking you to a horse show and how I could let you walk by me without a leash and nothing distracted you from me. ❤ You would sit and watch me play ball and anywhere we were, the world was good as long as you could see me and I you.
You are one of a kind and my heart will forever be connected with yours.

I have so many stories (who wouldn’t after 16 years) –  too many to share but I’ll remember them all within my heart.  I know we are both grateful to Nana Sandy for her equally loving care of you and special times you and she had too over the years.  The lessons of life I’ve learned from our special relationship continues to unfold and I am so grateful for you.  Each day is a gift. I am trying to remember this. Your looks at me were always trying to tell me that, funny how I missed that message far too often… for that I’m sorry, “life” sometimes seems to take over and we easily forget to slow down and enjoy “the little things/times”. But I know we did our best and we have had a wonderful life together.  Yet, I still would wish to have extra time with you.. To pet your head, be near, sit on the couch, hear you snore, and be still. Even when you would pace around and follow me and my crazy chaotic mornings all you wanted by the end of the day was for me to sit on the couch with you and just be close.. and I’m here.. I’ll always be here… And you will always be with me.. for that I am eternally grateful .

So here even at the end (Dec 2018) –I “hear” you. We have had many “talks” and our “agreement” is being met. When you were diagnosed with heart failure at 12 you agreed to stay until after you were 16. You have kept that… not always totally easy, but we kept “checking in” and agreed it was ok to keep going. We also agreed when the time came I would “be with you”. Which is what I did during your last week, until our last goodbye. We also agreed we needed to be at home – and you would go on your own.  That too was met… we remained open to a backup plan of someone coming here to help the transition IF needed, but it wasn’t necessary… we did it and it was just “us” as always… I am here, I will always be here and know part of you will always live in my heart.

Although you are gone, I feel the ways you will remain with me.
Despite the days that pass, I still miss you
I know this heartache… I’ve decided it’s a small price to pay for the pure joy, unconditional love, and life lessons you have given in return.
How blessed I’ve been to know such companionship. Thank you always for picking me to be your person.

Peace to you my Bosco –  my “soulmate dog”.}

Bosco
His watchful eye always upon me.

Thank you for allowing me to “let go” a little more and tuck a bit more of the pain of his loss into the safety of my heart space.

Much love and peace

Shiela

THE ART OF CRYING by Bryan Moss

As an energy worker I found myself wondering, for the past number of weeks, if I was still in touch with my Heart. Things that would normally move me to tears just weren’t doing it anymore. Mentioning of my mother’ name (she made her transition back in 1995 due to cancer), observing a stray dog or cat wandering the streets, or seeing an elderly person in a room full of younger people and not one person talking to them, all would wet my eyes. But lately, not anymore.
 My critical inner voice would heckle me with: “I’ve become cold hearted.” “I don’t seem to care about anything anymore.” “I’ve lost touch with my soul.” Within collective society the majority of people are conditioned to believe crying is a form of weakness. Now it’s acceptable if you initially cry over unexpected bad news, but don’t let that crying linger on. “Real men don’t cry, they just handle it” (whatever ‘it’ is). It’s crammed down everyone’s throats to “be strong and tough”. “Don’t let people know you’re weak.” “Don’t show people you’re vulnerable.” All programmed collective B.S.!!!…… mmmmmmm……
 A little research shows there are substantial benefits in the art of crying. The tears we shed have chemicals  that actually make us feel good! Oxytocin and endorphins are released to help relieve pain and elevate our moods. Tears help to kill bacteria and keep the eyes clean with a fluid called lysozyme. Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which helps us to relax. Little did I know of the physical benefits of crying, other than it usually feels good to get that ‘stuff’ out afterwords.
 Now, what’s got me writing about crying? A series of recent personal events all manifested within a 3 week period. One right after another, culminating with one of my best friends dying in a car accident, first thing in the morning on Valentine’s Day. As I was leaving my work place for lunch, a mutual friend called  to let me know. After disbelief passed through me, I cried and cried and cried in the cab of my truck for the hour, not even touching my lunch. Memories flooding my brain with all of the times we spent together. How we met each other. How we hit it off immediately through the same sense of humor and observations. The mutual respect and admiration we had for one another. After lunch, I went back into work sobbing. For the next couple of days I alternated between crying and sobbing. Reflecting, I was also aware I wasn’t only crying because I lost a best friend. I was releasing stress built up over all of the unexpected events that slammed me from the last weeks.
 What was cool was I had made the transition from feeling guilty and self conscious for crying to knowing it was my God given right to cry…and I was proud of it! I looked at the ‘gifts’ my pal gave to me. His humor, understanding, and most of all, his humbleness. He was a very knowledgeable man who knew a little of just about anything and yet very humble. I guess you could say he taught me, by example, the virtues of humbleness.  My friend’s passing couldn’t have happened on a more appropriate day, Valentine’s Day, for he had a BIG Heart!
  I realized I had to ‘let him go’. I also realized dwelling on and on about the ‘news’ of his passing wasn’t fair to him as well. The stray animals, my mom’s passing, the elders being neglected…gradually I had to let them all go and not ‘hang on’ to them. Energetically it could be stagnating if I didn’t, for all concerned.
 Acceptance gradually entered my life over the past number of months. Accepting that “everything’s perfect the way it is”. And in  accepting life as it unfolds I come from the power of choice. Do I choose to engage in conversation with the lady in the wheelchair? Do I feed the stray cat at work?  I wasn’t becoming cold hearted or insensitive. Instead it’s the opposite. I was becoming more accepting and compassionate without judgement as life’s events unfolded. I never did lose touch with my Heart. Out of acceptance I  was nurturing it.
 All of these realizations wouldn’t have come to me if I didn’t participate in the art of crying. Pass me a tissue please.
 With Respect and Love,
 Bryan