A personal “share” for “energy friends”…

A personal journal share by Shiela Reed

This post is a bit different from the others as it has a bit more “energy worker” lingo in it so for those that “get that”… maybe you can relate.  For those that are just starting to “relate”… I hope this resonates at a deeper level and opens more paths of personal awareness for you…

I’ve been in this interesting space the last couple weeks. During my vacation last week I found myself in what felt like “the void”. It was a most beautiful time of replenishment. My mind had planned to spend time being “creative” but my system really needed stillness and “presentness”, so that’s what I did. It helped a lot to re-strengthen my awareness as it was starting to be a little cloudy with mind chatter overlay. I’m really noticing my physical body feelings now when these things shift and occur which is really cool! I am noticing so much of the “inner conversations” that used to occur without my awareness and now I am able to interject, redirect, or even stop if it is not matching my heart at the moment or something I don’t purposely choose (I still choose ego stuff sometimes but am more conscious of it most days) 😊

It’s just been difficult to “rejoin” my physical world this time though. It’s hard to explain. It felt different. Like I chose to be “back”… yet there was no feeling of “down/despair/disappointment” nor any “high/giddiness/excitement”… just a feeling of being fully present in my body and my moment. Noticing, acknowledging and accepting it all. It felt so different physically I kind of didn’t want to move. At one point (maybe last night) I noticed my 5th and 6th chakras were too wide open and “information” was dumping in so fast it kind of gave me a slight headache. It also made my mental mind overload so I had to ask those areas to close up some!

Anyway, it’s been different and I wanted to share. My mind and ego parts are sure trying to judge and play that game with me about “not doing or being enough”… but I’m keeping it called into the light of my heart for the most part which has helped me “process” from that space. The main issue seems connected to knowing I have “knowledge” of things I can do, but I have both a feeling of “I want to, but I don’t want to”… so I’m still working through some new layers of where that is coming from. How I want it to look but not be so controlling about it all.. it’s so interesting to “wrestle” with how to have front end (projected) motivation and desire without the ego leading it. That now seems obvious as to why that is “together”, but my point is a bit of why I suspect changes have not really transitioned, my “passion” part isn’t fully active anywhere yet… or does it really have to be? Maybe that’s another form of an ego trap! Jeesh I have talked myself into a circle now. Lol.

Well, regardless, I have definitely found some new information behind it, so I’ll see where that leads me next. To be continued…

love and light,

Shiela

January Message of the Month – Action and Growth

by Shiela Reed

Earlier this month I got a couple back to back “pings” for a message of the month topic and today I hear a combination of the two…

Jan 16th = Action
What does action look like for you?
Do you immediately think of physical movement? What about the underlying stuff

Jan 17 = growing stronger
“Find a way to grow stronger…
you’re the only one who can do it…”

As we explore what it means for each of us to be “active” and learn how to follow the inner truth and promptings, we ARE actually “growing stronger”.

It’s funny because in my younger years I was physically strong and found my inner work to be my own, but without focus or guidance. Yes there were plenty of struggles and I guess that’s “normal” for much of that phase of life… I took my physical life for granted as many of us probably do/did… then as I went through another phase of life, I became aware that my inner connection had been “neglected” so I dove head first into “addressing” that…finding the missing “direction” and guidance. While that was VERY much needed I’ve had an awareness the last few years, that I ended up becoming VERY disconnected from my physical body and now have physical things that have manifested and I now must “address”…

It wouldn’t have had to be this way, but while I accept that my journey is what it needs to be for me, I want to share now how I find it as an ironic example of the “extremes” I’ve always lived. An “all or nothing” lifestyle, (or changes from one extreme to another), struggling desperately to find balance between two polar opposites that seemed to never want to “get along”… while YES, ultimately the “lesson” of “how” to balance comes from within each of us and from a spiritual kind of place, I am finding a new “struggle” in dealing with physical things that have never been a part of my life limitations. While parts of this could easily be “blamed” on aging, deep down I do not buy this for myself. I know within my heart why this is presenting itself and it is an awareness that I will continue to explore and work on.

There are elements of patience, self love, and acceptance that immediately come forward. A deeper aspect that I tend to keep very private, is that I have finally admitted to myself that the “inner world” and workings of my life are NOT where I find discomfort, nor has it ever been.. yes “hard” at times, but something I don’t want to ever look at?.. not really… sure I will avoid just as anyone else, but eventually I keep looking and have always enjoyed that process… even when it initially feels “painful”… in reality, what I have found is that I have much more difficulty with this physical life… so it could seem easier to just “not be a part of it” sometimes and that was MUCH easier for me to “overlook” when I did not have to pay much attention to my physical self. I learned ways to “check out” from myself pretty well.

Action for me has meant MANY things, depending on the “phase” of life, the lessons I’ve been willing to learn, and how open I’ve been to continue to take new steps following my hearts path. THIS is what is helping support my growth each day. Which will always be an opportunity of choices for me. There is no need to get caught up in or restricted by singlur definitions of “action” and “growth” because in the end it’s our own anyway right?!

So, here it is, kind of “full circle” in kind of a way. I found a year or so ago that I need to connect my two. Instead of always one or the other. I’ve had my focus on physical, I’ve had my focus on spiritual/inner work, now for the yin and yang to circle… Yes, a need for balance will always exist. We come to that realization in different way and at different times and in multiple intensities.

Connecting the emotional, spiritual, and physical is due for an “upgrade” in my book. 😊

I hope you find “food for thought” here that assists you in finding your own action and ultimately a new layer of growth on your personal journey.

Much peace and love
Shiela