July Message of the Month: Sharing about Choices

Sharing about Choices…

by Shiela Reed

Once again there is a message about the importance of our choices…
While there was a lot going on in July energetically, it will continue into Aug… It’s important to remember that it can be “better” and it can be “worse” based on our individual choices. This concept and processing of choices comes up again and again in different forms and from different perspectives. As stated before it matters about where our awareness is and where our alliance is.  Is it within our heart or outside of ourselves?

Today I was prompted to share my personal journal entry of the day which just so happens to tie in to this topic on choices… I hope you enjoy the way it came in for me and you find a connection to it as well.

{ Lots of changes energetically the last week or so. Shifts within relationships have been better. I have been more involved with energy working which helps me so much to remain grounded and my soul to feel that I’m “listening”.
Yet, sometimes I end up feeling like I have to force myself to move in the direction of what I think I “believe” my soul self is saying (ego trick) yet I know that is not the way it works. It’s what I call a “doing loop” I often get caught in. Even when I decide to “not do” it feels weird and so much chatter starts in my head, judging.. So it’s been a learning experience for sure.
Today I woke to really feeling this lovely inviting energy opening my eyes further about possibilities and good things in the future. It warms me to being excited and embracing the newness. I seriously feel like all I want to do right now is actually PARTICIPATE in life and go out and have new experiences and see my current ones with fresh eyes.
 It’s a really cool feeling!
It reminds me of the excitement of newness and how that increases the energy needed to actually get something done. Yet I also know (and remember) that in the past this has taken me into another part of the “doing loop” which leads to overwhelm and anxiety. Often increasing feelings of inadequacy and a lack of worthiness.
And sometimes it crashes into the opposite side of the loop – of doing nothing – leading to depression and despair and a different flavor of inadequacy and lack of worth.
With both of these I now more often see doubts and fears attached and try to remember and realize it is due to not being in this present moment. Instead I’m maybe energetically a bit too far forward or backward rather than connecting to the inner guidance and trusting in what is here and “next”.
Interesting…. I have noticed now that I get to this place, I begin to “mentalize” it and try to plan and control it… by saying things like “well, if I just go skipping around picking daisies all day, then not a damn thing will get done!” – lol which is true (to an extent)
Or if I push and am hard core working non stop on list after list just to make it to another list.. I’m exhausted and angry and have no joy or peace. (Been there done that, so that one is much easier to let go of these days as I’ve learned to let go of much of that MOST times anyway 😊)
So.. here I am still working on balance. Which is where I always seem to connect back to my “choices”. Moment to moment- situation to situation- thought to thought. I’m learning to try more often to stop at the beginning and ask “what is this choice connected to?” – my heart and a future self, a past – and just a memory- or is it meant as a reminder of a lesson?
While yes there is no reason to “over analyze” – it is kind of important to ease our human systems into this zone of “stillness” so we can actually “think/feel”- with our inner self energy body.
For me I feel like this is why I’ve learned the way I have in this lifetime. I know what it has felt like to be “go go go crazy busy – don’t sit still – do it – get it done- do it better” and found that is not conducive to my ability to hear my true soul self! Instead I need stillness in all capacities and more and more these days I am the one that MUST create that for myself.
But I am so glad and thankful I even started recognizing that need… many many years ago in therapeutic processes, AA, and ongoing life experiences. What a blessing to be at this point of the journey and have bright eyes today to see opportunities and a promise for a better tomorrow- rather than sadness and defeat.
No, it is NOT always this way… yes things can always be “worse” just as they can always be “better”; just as the night turns to day – we can all hopefully find ways to connect to the openness that change can bring – choice by choice – no matter how small.
Embrace the joy in all those moments- the small and the great. Allow them to be markers for our journeys path. Find peace and gratitude in our aliveness and an ability to have open eyes that are bright with a child like excitement to learn and grow and explore. }
May I and each of you find that now…
Peace, love and blessings
Shiela

Depression and Suicide

by Shiela Reed

Sadly there is much talk the last few weeks about depression and suicide.  Take heed and make sure you are taking good care of yourself and being aware of what is around you.  Your choice in people and environment can also effect you.  Remember to be kind and reach out to someone that could use a hello.

It’s probably not as likely as you might think that you would for sure know when someone is contemplating suicide.

It’s a darkened state that never really seems to lift, or at least not for long. A person probably gets good at “fitting in” and “putting on a happy face”.   It starts to feel like that’s the only way it will ever be.

Maybe one day the darkness doesn’t feel like it will ever lift again, or maybe it becomes too hard to put on the show any longer.

It’s probably impossible to ever really know “why” or “what was the final straw”, if there is even such a thing.

I can only tell you from my own experience, that after struggles with depression and having continued to seek out ways to “feel better”, I can now put things together that work for me.

Today, most times are a moment by moment assessment of what my mood is and after having learned about energetic awarenss, I can now actually find relief in knowing it has helped me change enough to not get “caught up in an emotional roller coaster ride” like I used to.

Instead, now I feel like I can honestly CHOOSE and I can “let go” without as much guilt or self judgement.

Don’t get me wrong, it sure the hell doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings, down days, sour moods, or anything else that can come out of the blue. But what doesn’t happen as often is that I don’t feel “trapped there” forever.
It’s hard… it’s not easy when all you want is to talk to someone, a hug, a friend, to feel important, someone to pay attention to you, but you end up sad and looking at “everyone else” and comparing what you “think” others have… when in reality, we all struggle. It’s just that most hide it well or have learned to not linger there as long anymore.  In reality, we ALL need connections.

Sadly we often don’t know how to ask or share experiences genuinely with others because we’ve been wounded. While in the end, the truth is that we have the hardest time truly loving and accepting ourselves first… so we silently struggle.

So to family and friends and survivors, there may have never been anything you could actually have “prevented”, instead the biggest challenge may really be within ALL of us… as every single one of us can learn to be kinder to ourselves, show grace and mercy to ourselves and others, with a genuine human compassion for the life struggles that are unseen in us all.

Again, reach out, be kind, make a positive difference.

May there be peace in your mind, love in your heart, and blessings that come from your tongue.

Shiela

Here is a good resource for anyone that needs help for themselves or a friend or loved one.

“From The Funk to Gratitude”

by Shiela Reed

I thought of this title as I was driving today (which is one of my most favorite times to allow myself to be freely be creative).  I noted how earlier this week I was going  to write about the proverbial “funk” (which I was in Sunday/Monday) but then just couldn’t even motivate myself enough to share it yet.  So since today was completely the opposite and it dawned on me how this “funk to gratitude” all happened within one week.

I literally was in the feeling of a depressive “funk” on Monday and here I am today (Friday) with such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that I’m in tears. The gratefulness that is in my mind and heart today is overwhelming as I look around and notice how every single thing I see I have an immediate feeling of being thankful that I’m able to see it and experience it;  feel it; taste it; smell it; and the overall freedom I have to even have these experiences.

But let me back up because that’s not at all how this week started on Monday.  When in reality there  was almost a feeling of depression, it was a physically lethargic feeling of not being connected to anything.  I also now know I’m blessed to realize that the work I’ve been doing regarding my own emotional and spiritual journey,  if you will, really granted me the ability to allow myself to be in that space on Monday without becoming engulfed in that looming feeling of potential “depression”.

Here is what I’ve learned about “the funk”.  It’s a part of life.  It comes and goes, for some of us more than others, but I have learned that the more I try to “fight it”, the more “energy” and life I end up actually giving it (if you will).   It ends up allowing it to grow which is counter-productive to what I’m trying to do…. which is “will it away”, make it go away,  ignore it, not want it, even hate it.

When instead I’ve had to learn to kind of “embrace it”, to an extent, without letting it be “in control”, as I move through the day.  What happens is that those feelings really do just eventually “dissipate”.  It’s like not giving it permission to take hold but yet acknowledging it exists.  As if I’m just “going with the flow”, so to speak.

This is something that I had really only been able to mentally understand from a conceptual perspective but now that I have been able to have more consistent true experiences with it,  I realize it had never been able to fully occur for me without a deeper connection within myself.  From doing the work and practices to connect my heart and spirit into the whole process and by frankly, gaining an understanding about how they all “communicate” i.e. our mental mind and ego, our emotions, our heart/ true self and even the overall connection to our physical body; I have found other ways to be present in my own life.

I know that’s pretty deep and “heady”, but the more I experience it,  the more it really does make sense and I find myself being able to just “let go” and” allow things” much more.  And what an enriching experience it has been on the other side of that!  Because it’s what brings the lightness,  the love,  and the joy and I know, this overwhelming feeling of gratitude that I’m having today.  It’s because I’ve been able to just let my system process in its own way, in its own time, without me “controlling it” or forcing it.  Learning to not “overthink” and “mentalize” everything has created freedom I used to only imagine!

What a true gift to be able to experience the True Heart connection and continue to be a student of life and learn and grow.  As many “spiritual” teachers will tell you, that’s what keeps our spark alive.  It is the ongoing growth we each deeply desire.  To continue to learn more about ourselves and our interconnections within and with others.  Allowing us to question,  “What is deep within us, in our truest form”?

So with that I find myself dreaming bigger, thinking about the things that I hope to bring and share in this world with like-minded people, while having a true desire to help others.

It’s days like today that I wish I could just drive, daydream, and write all day, as I share stories with you all about the things that come forward from my personal divine space.  All with the hopes that you will find it helpful in some way and take a next step in your own journey’s.

I do hope you each continue to seek your own spark and take one more step in that direction in some way.  Maybe it’s about trying something new that has caught your attention.  Maybe it’s more about allowing yourself to daydream as you look at the sky or gaze into nature.  Whatever it is, allow your mind and heart to wander with the curiosity of a child…. It feels GREAT and the next thing you know, “the funk” has disappeared.  🙂

Peace, serenity, and blessings

Shiela