Knowing Someone… What to Consider

Knowing someone… what to consider.

By Shiela Reed

It’s funny how we can think we know someone through social media..or simple encounters and forget these “reflections” are just glimpses of a whole. These partial aspect of a person, come forward for many reasons and it can be easy to “judge” or “perceive” as if we know them.

I imagine this is often how celebrities must feel, as they put forth a part of them or a projection but have many more components that are missed by those that don’t “know them” deeply or personally.
We all do this, we all even share and project without thinking why we are even doing it. Sometimes we are left wondering why we received certain “reactions” – without realizing we may have kind of “invited it”. Yet we hope for and usually are wishing for something else.

Our depth of mindfulness helps us gain some navigation skills in these areas and I always find it interesting how I (we) can fluctuate so much from day to day.
This is the part that has my most attention and awareness these days as the true effort (in my “world” anyway) is being able to learn how to stay closer to the “center”. It is and can be a daily challenge. We are human beings after all.. with free will. We do not all choose the same. We do not see things the same. Yet the many underlying similarities are very much the same. Call them “innate needs” maybe but it goes deeper than that. A deeper desire for compassion, love, and understanding. The other layers of emotions block us from seeing THOSE similarities. Fear, guilt, shame, hate.. take us in the opposite direction and it becomes hard to “see” our own truth.

So we project, we reach out in awkward ways. We assume we know others when we don’t. Others assume they know us, when they don’t. We can easily feel struggles of the insecurities and loneliness this brings and if we succumb to that or become stuck on that loop… the despair, depression, hopelessness, and anxiety that we have “lost control” takes over.

It is my hope that we all are given the Grace and find the opportunities to be REAL people with one another. Minus our judgements and freeing us up to be ok with choosing who is “good for us” (and wanted in our lives) and who is not. While also remembering it is absolutely OK when someone else chooses that we are not for them. It means nothing more than that we are not a good match. Or maybe even not a good match “anymore”. It is OK.

It’s a bit ironic maybe that we also need to learn to do this for ourselves as well. Letting go of habits, routines, thought patterns, etc that no longer serve our higher good, can be just as tough, but equally necessary for our growth.
I guess I share this as a long version of my own thought process and feeling into my emotions utilizing Facebook as one of my main social media platforms. I both enjoy it and dislike it. I have learned I have to be VERY aware of the technological manipulation that surrounds us and how easy it is to “get played”. I’m actually a rather private person. While I will “share” things, I am very conscious of the fact that it is “out there” and can never be taken back. I do not want to “fear” it, but it is a reality. I also know that when I am feeling that place of loneliness and disconnectedness – this (i.e. social media- Facebook) can be both a place of huge support or a driver of further sadness and loneliness. So, yes it can be hard to “choose” how I will “react” – and it is much more so when I don’t know why I am even trying to “know” someone else when I don’t know where I am at for that moment.

I’m kind of laughing right now as I think of the many ways I’ve wanted to “lash out” on Facebook when I am feeling no responses or unsupported. I’ve thought about closing it out completely, I’ve thought I’d do a “lecture” to my “friends” – I’ve thought I’d silently just let it go and delete everyone and start over with individual friend requests. Lol Then I realize it’s silly to have spent that time on something that isn’t even vital to my daily life. Yet I acknowledge my enjoyment on being “in touch” with as many people out there as possible because there is no other platform to do so in such magnitude.

So, I am reminded to “take it all with a grain of salt” – enjoy the parts that like, remember I only know the aspects of people as they show me and they only know me for what I choose to show them. Beyond that, the closest parts of my life are within me and those I choose to physically, emotionally and energetically surround myself with… and the same is true for each of  you.  🙂

Many blessings and open awareness to all – Shiela 🙂

December Message of the Month – Our Life

by Shiela Reed

Originally posted December 18th 2018  (how ironic that the website went down after posting this and I had to “reset it” to the the day before this – Dec 18th is the day my world started to change forever… I am glad to have been reminded to revisit this.. more true than I could have even imagined it was going to be.)

It’s our life after all… to make choices… for better or worse.. it will be “good” or not… we live it based on how we choose.

I’ve written before about choices …seems like a simple enough topic, yet when you really try to narrow it down it’s actually a lot more complicated than that. From an emotional standpoint of course, so it’s more about the “choosing” that’s complicated. The actual act of “The Choice” can be difficult but in reality the hard part is already done. Digging into the emotions, acknowledging the emotions, being aware of underlying things and not just being “reactionary”… yep, THAT’S the hard part.

So what is one to do? Today I find myself having these questions. I’ve had these questions before.. I find some answers.. I find more questions… today some of those things remain the same and some of those things I find something different…

One thing remains the same, and it’s the ME factor. I am the part that remains center to it all. Even when I feel far “off center”, it is still me. My own “good and bad” is defined my ME. My love, happiness, pain, suffering… is mine by my choosing. I’m learning to be ok with that. I’m also learning that when I’m NOT, then it is only ME that can dig around and find a new “definition”. Or a way to acknowledge what I’m going through and decide to FEEL it ALL THE WAY THROUGH!

No short cuts when we make a “choice”… if we do, then we miss the whole “lesson” or “learning moment” and it will just reappear in another place as a “new choice”….

I share this today as this year and month has been a challenge on many levels. Both for me personally and I know for many others. Not exactly “good” or “bad”, as I prefer to have a definition based on “opportunity”. Yet the “opportunities” this year have come with what feels like a “price”. And while that is true to me, I also realize it’s more about some of my own resistance and struggle to “DO the choices” while also acknowledging the need to keep moving forward toward NEW choices.

Although a bit cliche, it never gets old to me.. life is a dance, a journey, a cluster of experiences.. I “dance” and “go” where I want and where I choose. Our lives are built from experience to experience… it just gets hard sometimes to “see” because there are so many at once. (Thinking of another cliched phrase- but a bit opposite- “can’t see the trees, for the forest” instead of the “forest for the trees”)

Regardless, it’s OUR LIFE… Live it as well as you choose. While allowing the Grace to “go through it” even when it’s messy and hard and we desperately seek Peace, that deep down we already know is at the center of US.

May you find peace, blessings, and courage as we end this year and begin anew, with the spirit of embracing change and acceptance through the allowance of lifes path.

Much love
Shiela

 

September message of the month – Hold On and Let Go

by Shiela Reed

Hold on and Let go – has been a theme for me this whole month it seems.  Each moment and experience in all areas of my life keep pointing out that we are always doing one or the other and sometimes both at once.

Oddly enough (or maybe not so odd by now 😉 , it seems to be the most prevalent times I can see it this way is when I’m centered and grounded and still in my own heart space.

I know it seems a little bit of a broken record, but it truly is the “make it or break it” pivotal zone in all we are… without it – we can never really be sure and trust that we are headed down our true path, because choices end up at the whim of our ego mind.

So as we have already moved through this month somehow!.. There is a new energy shift coming into October and one of my mentors through TransCODES shares some great information about this and it’s worth taking note, specifically  the following from  http://www.transcodes.com/blog/4592588517/22nd-28th-September-2018-Collective-Energies-Tips-(Week-39)-Equinox—Ready-Or-Not/11328430

“ETHERIC BUZZ ALERT from 25th September 2018: *** ETHERIC BUZZ ALERT *** Incoming Energies (Equinox, Full Moon and #OctoberRevolutionEnergies) overwhelming for empaths atm. Don’t beat yourself up for being tired or low-balling. Give yourself space and RELEASE ALL EMOTIONS #eyeofthestorm #bifurcation #collectiveenergies”

This is especially if you are already aware of being extra sensitive to energies around you.  It’s a very important time to be able to tap into your inner guidance and know when to “hold on or let go or do both”.  This shift will be occurring regardless of if we are “ready or not”, so being able to do this in the coming months in a way that is true to each of us, will likely mean we need to spend extra time grounding, lightly reflecting, letting go, and ultimately allowing our process and journey to unfold.  Oh, and also doing this over and over again and moment to moment sometimes. 🙂

We do not need to be passive during this, instead there is a need to be actively engaged and connected – but within our inner space where our “real us” is already communicating with our divine light.  This is our “true”…

So as we all contemplate the holding on, letting go, and yin/yang of it all – remember to be present in each moment  – allow yourself space to grow and heal and be open to trust in the unfolding while you continue to participate in the journey.

See you in October!

Much love and blessings

Shiela