A personal journal share by Shiela Reed
This post is a bit different from the others as it has a bit more “energy worker” lingo in it so for those that “get that”… maybe you can relate. For those that are just starting to “relate”… I hope this resonates at a deeper level and opens more paths of personal awareness for you…
I’ve been in this interesting space the last couple weeks. During my vacation last week I found myself in what felt like “the void”. It was a most beautiful time of replenishment. My mind had planned to spend time being “creative” but my system really needed stillness and “presentness”, so that’s what I did. It helped a lot to re-strengthen my awareness as it was starting to be a little cloudy with mind chatter overlay. I’m really noticing my physical body feelings now when these things shift and occur which is really cool! I am noticing so much of the “inner conversations” that used to occur without my awareness and now I am able to interject, redirect, or even stop if it is not matching my heart at the moment or something I don’t purposely choose (I still choose ego stuff sometimes but am more conscious of it most days) 😊
It’s just been difficult to “rejoin” my physical world this time though. It’s hard to explain. It felt different. Like I chose to be “back”… yet there was no feeling of “down/despair/disappointment” nor any “high/giddiness/excitement”… just a feeling of being fully present in my body and my moment. Noticing, acknowledging and accepting it all. It felt so different physically I kind of didn’t want to move. At one point (maybe last night) I noticed my 5th and 6th chakras were too wide open and “information” was dumping in so fast it kind of gave me a slight headache. It also made my mental mind overload so I had to ask those areas to close up some!
Anyway, it’s been different and I wanted to share. My mind and ego parts are sure trying to judge and play that game with me about “not doing or being enough”… but I’m keeping it called into the light of my heart for the most part which has helped me “process” from that space. The main issue seems connected to knowing I have “knowledge” of things I can do, but I have both a feeling of “I want to, but I don’t want to”… so I’m still working through some new layers of where that is coming from. How I want it to look but not be so controlling about it all.. it’s so interesting to “wrestle” with how to have front end (projected) motivation and desire without the ego leading it. That now seems obvious as to why that is “together”, but my point is a bit of why I suspect changes have not really transitioned, my “passion” part isn’t fully active anywhere yet… or does it really have to be? Maybe that’s another form of an ego trap! Jeesh I have talked myself into a circle now. Lol.
Well, regardless, I have definitely found some new information behind it, so I’ll see where that leads me next. To be continued…
love and light,