by Bryan Moss
by Shiela Reed
Sadly there is much talk the last few weeks about depression and suicide. Take heed and make sure you are taking good care of yourself and being aware of what is around you. Your choice in people and environment can also effect you. Remember to be kind and reach out to someone that could use a hello.
It’s probably not as likely as you might think that you would for sure know when someone is contemplating suicide.
It’s a darkened state that never really seems to lift, or at least not for long. A person probably gets good at “fitting in” and “putting on a happy face”. It starts to feel like that’s the only way it will ever be.
Maybe one day the darkness doesn’t feel like it will ever lift again, or maybe it becomes too hard to put on the show any longer.
It’s probably impossible to ever really know “why” or “what was the final straw”, if there is even such a thing.
I can only tell you from my own experience, that after struggles with depression and having continued to seek out ways to “feel better”, I can now put things together that work for me.
Today, most times are a moment by moment assessment of what my mood is and after having learned about energetic awarenss, I can now actually find relief in knowing it has helped me change enough to not get “caught up in an emotional roller coaster ride” like I used to.
Instead, now I feel like I can honestly CHOOSE and I can “let go” without as much guilt or self judgement.
Don’t get me wrong, it sure the hell doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings, down days, sour moods, or anything else that can come out of the blue. But what doesn’t happen as often is that I don’t feel “trapped there” forever.
It’s hard… it’s not easy when all you want is to talk to someone, a hug, a friend, to feel important, someone to pay attention to you, but you end up sad and looking at “everyone else” and comparing what you “think” others have… when in reality, we all struggle. It’s just that most hide it well or have learned to not linger there as long anymore. In reality, we ALL need connections.
Sadly we often don’t know how to ask or share experiences genuinely with others because we’ve been wounded. While in the end, the truth is that we have the hardest time truly loving and accepting ourselves first… so we silently struggle.
So to family and friends and survivors, there may have never been anything you could actually have “prevented”, instead the biggest challenge may really be within ALL of us… as every single one of us can learn to be kinder to ourselves, show grace and mercy to ourselves and others, with a genuine human compassion for the life struggles that are unseen in us all.
Again, reach out, be kind, make a positive difference.
Here is a good resource for anyone that needs help for themselves or a friend or loved one.
By Shiela Reed
The energies have been coming on strong for over a month now and may feel pretty intense to just throw everything away and start over. Yet there is also a bit of a nagging to “hang on” to everything “just in case”!
That can actually be rather anxiety provoking. I have felt it and have had to remind myself daily to check in with my inner self and allow myself to take a little time to determine if I am functioning on fear or everyone else’s energy rather than my own true prompts.
I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard sometimes!!! It can feel like all or nothing at once. We run or freeze or get angry for no reason due to the underlying “frustration” that we probably don’t recognize.
So far the best things I’m doing are literally stopping what I’m doing and sit still for a few minutes (or more) and breath, relax a little (preferably outside or at least somewhere quiet and non distracting or cluttered with stuff or “feelings”).
Then when I ask myself “do I want to really do this now?” – (funny because I literally just had a wasp land on me out of the blue and get my attention to look up her symbolism as a new totem animal/messenger and it’s very much about new beginnings, focusing on what I want and is important to me as well as becoming more clear on the expressions of myself as I shift and change in the new process I’m going through) i.e. welcome to this website and blog! 🙂
Anyway, to continue 😉 – sometimes the answer might be, “no” never, no not right now, yes now, yes, but adjust a little… etc. Regardless, just listen… follow your prompting. Breath and release through the fear and anxiety. Close your eyes, the visions and views they see can be distracting. Take your time. You may even need to leave it be and come back to it later. Insert a healthy physical distraction maybe, like a walk, a nap, a scenic drive…
In the end, give yourself permission to follow your own guidance.
Also know that the “clearing out and de-cluttering pull” is more than about our physical space. There is often a deeper mental and emotional clearing that is needed. We just notice the physical first in most cases because that’s where most of us are used to functioning. Plus, let’s face face it, we can “control”, manipulate, and see results of physical “stuff” right?!… that gives us a sense of accomplishment and a form of temporary relief. Which is great and even necessary at the right times. It can actually set us up for having an improved personal space to work from and go deeper on that mental and emotional “stuff”…. but don’t forget to also pay attention to that underlying part… it’s probably trying to get your attention for a reason. So, remember to “go back there and revisit it”.
I also know this is when it’s really nice to have someone to reflect with and personally I enjoy having my own energetic support system in place to get some support to go just a little deeper into my own inner connection. There are many out there and starting up… so just make sure it resonates with your heart.
Well, it is time to continue with some more assessment of my environment and another layer of “de-cluttering” as I too move forward with opening up my space and energetic field a bit more.
I’m trying to remember that holding on to too many things (physical things, mental things, emotional things) not only effects my energetic space and physical body, it also limits me from being as open to the new and wonderful things trying to find their way into my life. ❤
Blessings and best regards during your journey.
by Shiela Reed
Although all of these are common emotions in all of us – for some of us (or even all of us at some point) one or all of them seem to just “get the best of us” and we struggle.
The time and energy we spend “recovering” from a bout of any one of them can feel exhausting. And that is usually where the “tables get turned” if you will – when we fight them, hate them, don’t want them, ignore them, or any other mechanism, besides finding that true inner place of acceptance and allowance – we will struggle.
Some of the mechanisms are very obvious- the angry at the world person; angry at everything and everyone. Some are more subtle – the person who ignores and pretends it’s never there, or gets so good at “stuffing it”, they end up disliking themselves for having any of these feelings.
Regardless of where we land on this, one of the key things seems to first be to be able to become aware of what is going on within our own energy system when these are present. That takes time and practice, but it will do one thing pretty quickly, which is important – it will take a bit of the “being controlled by” that thought/emotion out of that particular energy field and gives you even just a second to recognize an opportunity to shift it differently,.. IF YOU want to. (Be honest with yourself here, sometimes we do just want to finish the moment of anger, sadness, or anxiousness and that is necessary and absolutely OK – just remain AWARE that YOU are choosing it, not that it is controlling you.)
The next hardest part is practicing remaining in this awareness – it’s like learning to ride a bike or even walk – you WILL fall down, it will not be smooth or “perfect”- hell!- some days it will seem impossible! But you try again each time and eventually it gets clearer as you become more connected to your “inner you”and THAT, feels better.
SO when I found myself stuck for long periods of time in those places- it was dark, scary, and lonely, because I simply didn’t know a clear way out or that in reality I was “feeding” that energy with my fear and lack of understanding at a deeper awareness, that the Ego mind was trying to “control” and “protect me”, the only way it knows how. Once I was able to recognize it – and shift a little, it felt better, for even a moment – yet truly, again, the hardest part continues to be not being discouraged or “beat myself up” when that “shift” didn’t/doesn’t, “last long enough”.
I have eventually found myself in a “true” enough space with my “inner me”, that I began asking “what does that even mean?… long enough?”. . I have been and continue to be immediately reminded that this “time frame” is not and does not mean what our mental/ego minds tell us.
What comes to mind for you? Long enough – “good” -seems as if we would want that forever right? Long enough -“bad”- seems like we would want that shortened right?
But what if in the small moment you become aware and you try a slight shift in perspective – it changes the whole energetic dynamic ever so slightly and you realize – THAT is what is within you?!
Today I listen to and watch the rain – my sluggish energy started yesterday and instead of going with the feeling of everyone else “Oh yuck it’s raining, it’s grey, its dreary”, I have been able to choose to self nurture, slow down, appreciate the life that the rain is bringing and instead of grey and dreary I have been able to humbly appreciate and SEE the jumping colors of Spring – green grass forming, Easter lilies and Spring flowers popping, forsythia budding and the early sprouts on the trees.
I realize full heartedly that it is much more than just “a will to change” our perspective, but I do know it just takes the one baby step or a few turns of the peddles on that bike for the first time – to realize “I can do it” and “it’s OK to fall”, I only need to try again and love myself fully and deeply enough to know I’m worth the effort.
Just as you are too.
Peace, Love and Blessings