I’ve noticed many people on the spiritual path don’t have an issue when it comes to helping others in need, it’s when asked if they’ve accepted and love themselves they tend to give some interesting reactions.
The most common reaction is one of being slightly annoyed, responding with an empty, “Of course I accept and love myself.”
Some people are caught off guard with that question because they never even thought about the subject.
Then some people look at you with, “What do you mean?
THE TRUTH IS many on the spiritual journey aren’t used to accepting and giving themselves love. Don’t get me wrong, most have noble intentions and mean well. However, they’re always projecting love out to others first. Like being on auto-pilot. They believe that their sole duty is to serve others, putting themselves on the back burner.
I know I’m going to catch a lot of flack for what I’m going to say next, but these are my true feelings and I wouldn’t be true to my soul if I sugar-coated what I believe just to make readers happy.
In my opinion “sacrifice” is a dirty nine-letter word. I think sacrificing oneself is the ego’s way of making someone feel like they’re special. On a “special mission” to save mankind. To be a “holy hero” among fellow souls. I’ve touched on this in different ways in my previous writings. Putting yourself on the back burner shows you don’t really care about your own well being. Think about it. What difference can you make for others when you don’t care enough to tend to your own needs? What good are you? If you don’t care of your own business first how are you going to be able to give the full, proper attention to anyone else? And I mean taking care of yourself on all levels. Emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually. Getting enough rest, enough water intake, proper nutrition, exercising on a regular basis, having a regular meditation routine, the list goes on.
Self -Love is NOT about loving yourself, it’s about learning the truth about yourself. Read that line again and let it really sink in. Self-Love is NOT about loving yourself, it’s about LEARNING THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF. And ONLY then, when you begin to learn the truth about yourself, can you begin to accept, forgive, and then love yourself FIRST. Only then can you move on and compassionately give that acceptance, forgiveness, and love to others.
It’s no big secret that you can’t accept another person’s faults until you’ve accepted similar faults within your own self. The energetic rule of thumb is, if someone is doing something that makes you angry, or hurt, or even slightly irritated, then you most likely have those same qualities in you that are unresolved. We’re all mirrors of one another. Our egos don’t want us to acknowledge this but it’s true.
The same applies to forgiveness. Have you ever been told by someone they forgive you and it seems ‘robot-like’? It’s just because ‘they’re spiritual’ and this makes them bigger than you because, after all, that’s what spiritual people do is forgive? Start taking an honest look at yourself. Notice any shame or guilt you kept stored inside you for months or most likely YEARS. The stuff you can’t seem to look at again. But do it with a soft eye and remember at that time you handled the experience the best you could. Even if you knew at the time it was a stupid mistake, then acknowledge you made a stupid choice. This is when you begin to take true responsibility for yourself. Forgive yourself for any harm you did at the time, whether it was to yourself or others. Only then can you unconditionally start forgiving others and grow during your journey.
Accepting the truth about yourself is the only way you can even begin to accept the truth about others. It’s not even about two sides of the coin, coming from Yourself vs. Them. The truth is people life is a one-sided coin. We all deal with the same experiences in different shapes and forms. The sooner you wake up to that fact the sooner you’ll begin to eliminate frustration and victimhood from your path.
Here’s another line I’ll probably get grief over: You’re wasting your time giving to others until you unconditionally give to yourself. Everything I’ve previously said applies to this fact. Be vigilant in rediscovering all of the corners in your shadow’s closet. But do it without judging yourself. Acknowledge it and move on. You don’t need permission from anyone to liberate those hidden emotions within. Let me put it this way…..you’re eventually going to do it anyway. Whether it’s now from your own honest efforts or on your death bed. Most people, out of fear, wait until circumstances appear that have them contemplating all of this for months, weeks, days, and at times..moments before they know they’re going to die. It’s only then they realize all of those ‘hidden truths’ were not that important to keep hidden. It’s only then they realize all of the wasted effort and energy it took for them NOT to be truthful with themselves. All of that effort and energy….which could’ve been utilized in more supportive and productive ways, for themselves, and then for others.
DON’T WAIT. Don’t procrastinate in taking a look at the truth of yourself. The number one dreaded enemy of procrastination is “the sooner the easier”.
Say “YES” to discovering all of the truth about yourself.