by Shiela Reed
Originally posted December 18th 2018 (how ironic that the website went down after posting this and I had to “reset it” to the the day before this – Dec 18th is the day my world started to change forever… I am glad to have been reminded to revisit this.. more true than I could have even imagined it was going to be.)
It’s our life after all… to make choices… for better or worse.. it will be “good” or not… we live it based on how we choose.
I’ve written before about choices …seems like a simple enough topic, yet when you really try to narrow it down it’s actually a lot more complicated than that. From an emotional standpoint of course, so it’s more about the “choosing” that’s complicated. The actual act of “The Choice” can be difficult but in reality the hard part is already done. Digging into the emotions, acknowledging the emotions, being aware of underlying things and not just being “reactionary”… yep, THAT’S the hard part.
So what is one to do? Today I find myself having these questions. I’ve had these questions before.. I find some answers.. I find more questions… today some of those things remain the same and some of those things I find something different…
One thing remains the same, and it’s the ME factor. I am the part that remains center to it all. Even when I feel far “off center”, it is still me. My own “good and bad” is defined my ME. My love, happiness, pain, suffering… is mine by my choosing. I’m learning to be ok with that. I’m also learning that when I’m NOT, then it is only ME that can dig around and find a new “definition”. Or a way to acknowledge what I’m going through and decide to FEEL it ALL THE WAY THROUGH!
No short cuts when we make a “choice”… if we do, then we miss the whole “lesson” or “learning moment” and it will just reappear in another place as a “new choice”….
I share this today as this year and month has been a challenge on many levels. Both for me personally and I know for many others. Not exactly “good” or “bad”, as I prefer to have a definition based on “opportunity”. Yet the “opportunities” this year have come with what feels like a “price”. And while that is true to me, I also realize it’s more about some of my own resistance and struggle to “DO the choices” while also acknowledging the need to keep moving forward toward NEW choices.
Although a bit cliche, it never gets old to me.. life is a dance, a journey, a cluster of experiences.. I “dance” and “go” where I want and where I choose. Our lives are built from experience to experience… it just gets hard sometimes to “see” because there are so many at once. (Thinking of another cliched phrase- but a bit opposite- “can’t see the trees, for the forest” instead of the “forest for the trees”)
Regardless, it’s OUR LIFE… Live it as well as you choose. While allowing the Grace to “go through it” even when it’s messy and hard and we desperately seek Peace, that deep down we already know is at the center of US.
May you find peace, blessings, and courage as we end this year and begin anew, with the spirit of embracing change and acceptance through the allowance of lifes path.