When I began to learn about energy work I was surprised to find out that in order to really be proficient at it (whether reading my own or others) I needed to be willing to look at my past. The good, the bad, and even the very ugly.
Well, to spell it out in basic steps:
*We’re born as energetic beings right off the bat! This is our divine right. Feeling and reading energies is a basic skill set, just as speaking is to most. We are born to read energies!
* However, while being raised and taught by others (parents, teachers, caretakers) we’re influenced by THEIR interpretation of life. What THEY learned. What THEY think is best for us as we’re growing up. Good, or not so good, many of these “lessons” were ingrained in our ‘caretakers’ way of life back when THEY were young whipper snappers.
*What happens is, as we grow up, anything taught is either consciously on our minds AND/OR stored in our subconscious, and forgotten about by our conscious minds. Events, emotions not expressed, rules, regulations, all of the “how to’s”….EVERYTHING is stored there. We take the ‘caretakers’ words for granted. Like their ways and means is the law of life, we accept them as the only truths without questioning them.
*When adulthood comes upon us, often we feel conflicted about certain feelings we’re having in regards to relationships and experiences. When a different view, or mind set, is presented to us one can start to feel confused and mixed up. Perhaps “things” just don’t make sense. Yet we feel a pull to honor our teachings because we were raised “that way”. So we immediately dismiss, or negate, anything that “goes against the grain” in spite of our inner promptings which are making us question those very ways.
*It’s well known throughout the health community those buried, unacknowledged emotions can create a host of “problems”. Mental illness, physical symptoms, dysfunctional relationships are a few examples. Along with all of this we’re trying to discern what’s of use to us, or not useful and can be discarded.
I’ll give a couple of examples from my own journey to help illustrate how it’s beneficial to look at past programming instilled in us:
Recently, I recalled being around 4 or 5 and was angry and upset with my mother earlier that day. I decided I was going to run away. So I loaded up my radio flyer red wagon with my favorite toys in my bedroom, rolled it through the living room and out the front door while my mom was gossiping on the phone in the kitchen to one of the next door neighbors. She assumed I was going out front to play. I rolled my red wagon of toys as far as half way down the block, got scared, turned around, and went back home. At this time I don’t remember what I was mad about and that really isn’t important. But what is important is for me to acknowledge I had anger towards my mother even at that age. I was too young to express it constructively and thought I just had to get away from her. So I used the “flight” response in order to cope with my anger. Not knowing how to release the anger it was shoved to the side and forgotten about..buried. So it’s tossed into the “piggy bank of anger” and accumulates interest stored as anger towards not only my mother, but, unintentionally, can affect my views towards women in general. This can certainly create the perfect set up for a dysfunctional relationship with any future partner down the road. It’s impossible to discern specific anger issues in another until I’ve become familiar with feeling my own anger.
Another example is how it was ingrained in me that whatever problem or question I had, I needed to look outside of me for answers. Rather than figure it out myself, or even suggested to me that many answers are already within, I was taught to go to an “expert”. They would know better than me–about me. Externalization is promoted in collective society. Being taught to look to others for answers indirectly disempowers ones own innate, God given right to look within. Religion is a great example of this. One has to go through a middle man (clergy, priest, minister, rabbi..) in order to learn and communicate with God (higher power). Often it’s not encouraged for one to go about their spiritual journey without the approval of others. As mentioned in the previous example, it’s all of the programming and trained responses drilled into us, so much so, we begin taking on a false identity to appease others to make them happy. Before you know it you’ve become a person that the “real you”, your True Self, doesn’t really know but patiently puts up with knowing that the time will eventually come when you realize most everything you thought was the law of the land is, at best, all backwards and full of bullocks. Programmed to follow along with the collective herd, you never took the time to discover those “rules and ways” yourself, thus, never getting to know the essence of YOU, your inherited True Self. The Self that is already complete with the peace, love and any of the bells and whistles you may need. You start to figure out the journey isn’t about learning and accumulating more paradigms. It’s about getting rid of all of that and getting back to the basics you were born with…your True Self.
Re-experiencing (meaning NOT conceptualizing but FEELING it out) and accepting the fact those events happened to me allows the experience to go through me instead of hanging on to it by hiding it in the corners of my mind and trying to put it out of my memory. You see? By ignoring those feelings I was throwing gasoline onto those simmering embers where the inevitable spontaneous combustion was, and is, bound to happen ( as suggested above in the various forms of illnesses and dysfunctional behaviors). Over time, I’ve been willing to “let my guard down” and feel into the uncomfortable memories/ experiences in my past. I found that stripping away all of the conditioned and programmed B.S. actually allows me to feel more and ACCEPT what happened to me, not ignore it. Thus enabling me to get to know my self, True Self, better. Is this easy to do? NO. My critical inner voice, or ego (as other energy workers refer to it), kicks, screams, and throws temper tantrums because it’s sole purpose is to feel safe and survive at any cost, including preventing me from feeling and experiencing life fully with my Heart, the doorway to understanding my own energies.
I hope my examples may provide you with a clearer idea why we all should be willing to look into our past. Not to remind ourselves what injustices may of happened, but as a learning tool of accepting those experiences and enabling us to know ourselves (energies) a little bit better as we move forward on our own Heart felt journeys. It’s in the understanding of the lessons from our past, we can let go and grow. Grow into the expansive energy field of compassion and empathy for Self and others.
Digging up the past to utilize as a lesson, and NOT to dwell on it and cave into self shame, guilt, anger, (nor the popular mental gymnastics “could ofs, would ofs, should ofs”) is actually a very powerful energy modality for one’s growth.
Excuse me while I go to the hardware store and purchase a big snow shovel.