February Message of the Month: Solutions and Conflicts

Solutions and Conflicts by Shiela Reed

There is usually a solution to any perceived conflict if we are willing to be open to listening to alternatives.

How do you resolve conflicts? Are you aware of where your mind goes if you feel defensive? To me one of the key things to be aware of is being able to realize and connect to the deeper aspects (usually ego related) that spark an inner defensiveness.

Over the years of learning ways to connect within myself at deeper levels I have been able to find new layers of awareness that have helped me make progress in dealing with conflict. So far this is where I find myself…

First, a level of acknowledgement that I consider something a conflict in the first place and I either want to address it/engage in efforts to resolve it or not.
If I don’t want to work toward a resolution, then I will need to “own the fact” that I will be CHOOSING to participate in and FEED the energy of the conflict in a less productive kind of way.
Even with this, I now realize there are deeper aspects to this too.. i.e. am I wanting to control or ignore something (my own emotions maybe) simply by being what appears to be non-active?
Maybe it is out of fear of having to change a long standing mindset of my own?

The same could be said for if I choose to “work toward a resolution”… what are the reasons behind it? “Selfish” motives, or because I “know best”, or because I truly want an opportunity to collaborate with another soul in an effort for us to learn together and from each other?

Regardless, acknowledgment and awareness of the conflict at least allows us an opportunity to observe another layer in this dynamic which is the next thing to consider and that is the multiple places for asking questions of our inner self…

However, it can get extra sticky if we start thinking too much about others involved in the conflict and we project into the situation, so being aware of this is key too.

Now what happens if another person/party doesn’t want to engage in conflict resolution? Do I drop into fear? Anger? Feeding the conflict.. or make an attempt to find a place of common ground, consider that the “other side” may be functioning out of their own fear. I can hear some now (even my own head goes here) “but wait, if they don’t want to compromise or work it out, then why would I trust them and try to consider them being fearful, thus putting me in a vulnerable position?”

Well, personally, I think this is a very pivotal point to be able to come to in terms of truly making a personal “decision” about a conflict. Are you able to process to this point quick enough all the while listening to your true heart prompting and acknowledging your ego interjections all along the way… to ask, what part of this is “true/safe/right” to ME at that core level? Or do you miss the underlying parts of the ego that are being supported and fall into a looping pattern?

For me, there have been times I have worked through so far and found that there simply is nothing further I personally can do without crossing my own lines of integrity or what my heart already knows is beyond my souls responsibility, or boundaries. For example, NOT continuing to help or own parts of a conflict that really no longer belong to you.
At other times I may realize I am not taking responsibility for my own “part” enough and need to reevaluate why I may be dodging that… (back to some of the above questions)

We can go off in so many directions and learn so many things from a conflict (inner, outer, and all in between) but we tend to either shy away from them or go about resolution in frequently ineffective ways. Likely because conversations are often loaded with ego needs and personal projections. It really seems to boil down to continuing to ask questions of ourselves layer by layer to understand our own deep rooted connection to the conflict topic in the first place and maybe have some very basic respect for where the other side MAY be coming from (without acting like we know them better than they know themselves) and then just trusting that it will turn out how its supposed to in the end.

Overall, the topic of “conflict” is pretty interesting as it can be such a beautiful reflection of reality, whether we choose to see it in all its “glory” or not is the question. A reality of infinite learning opportunities and/or deep rooted divisions and ego needs…

I continue to find that no two conflicts are the same and the ego aspects sparked within me change, but as I learn to acknowledge and ask inner questions, the energy of the conflict itself shifts.

It would be interesting to hear how you view conflicts for yourself and if this concept makes sense to you or not. Whether there have been inner or outer conflicts, there does seem to be some elements that remain the same, acknowledge and question from the inner heart at all times to find the “best” resolution.

Much love and peace as you peel back the layers in the world of “conflicts”.

Shiela

A personal “share” for “energy friends”…

A personal journal share by Shiela Reed

This post is a bit different from the others as it has a bit more “energy worker” lingo in it so for those that “get that”… maybe you can relate.  For those that are just starting to “relate”… I hope this resonates at a deeper level and opens more paths of personal awareness for you…

I’ve been in this interesting space the last couple weeks. During my vacation last week I found myself in what felt like “the void”. It was a most beautiful time of replenishment. My mind had planned to spend time being “creative” but my system really needed stillness and “presentness”, so that’s what I did. It helped a lot to re-strengthen my awareness as it was starting to be a little cloudy with mind chatter overlay. I’m really noticing my physical body feelings now when these things shift and occur which is really cool! I am noticing so much of the “inner conversations” that used to occur without my awareness and now I am able to interject, redirect, or even stop if it is not matching my heart at the moment or something I don’t purposely choose (I still choose ego stuff sometimes but am more conscious of it most days) 😊

It’s just been difficult to “rejoin” my physical world this time though. It’s hard to explain. It felt different. Like I chose to be “back”… yet there was no feeling of “down/despair/disappointment” nor any “high/giddiness/excitement”… just a feeling of being fully present in my body and my moment. Noticing, acknowledging and accepting it all. It felt so different physically I kind of didn’t want to move. At one point (maybe last night) I noticed my 5th and 6th chakras were too wide open and “information” was dumping in so fast it kind of gave me a slight headache. It also made my mental mind overload so I had to ask those areas to close up some!

Anyway, it’s been different and I wanted to share. My mind and ego parts are sure trying to judge and play that game with me about “not doing or being enough”… but I’m keeping it called into the light of my heart for the most part which has helped me “process” from that space. The main issue seems connected to knowing I have “knowledge” of things I can do, but I have both a feeling of “I want to, but I don’t want to”… so I’m still working through some new layers of where that is coming from. How I want it to look but not be so controlling about it all.. it’s so interesting to “wrestle” with how to have front end (projected) motivation and desire without the ego leading it. That now seems obvious as to why that is “together”, but my point is a bit of why I suspect changes have not really transitioned, my “passion” part isn’t fully active anywhere yet… or does it really have to be? Maybe that’s another form of an ego trap! Jeesh I have talked myself into a circle now. Lol.

Well, regardless, I have definitely found some new information behind it, so I’ll see where that leads me next. To be continued…

love and light,

Shiela