April Monthly Message – Letting Go vs Holding On

Letting go or Holding on…

by Shiela Reed

This message has been coming in for a week or so and ironically kept being vague about how to write about it… So I hope this information lands in “just the right spot” for you to get what you need.

The topic is a tricky one – since it has a classic connection to ego, which adds to the layers of “stuff” to work through.  After all, the ego prefers to have a say so in this stuff right?!

SO, how deep does the concept of “letting go vs holding on” really go?  Honestly, as deep as we each can take it…

In reality every decision has an element of both.  As we gain knowledge from a learning experience, we “hold on” to that, even if we “let go” of some parts of that experience.  We also find that emotions, feelings, behaviors, habits, people, things, and all other parts of our being and lives, eventually tend to come to some place of needing our attention regarding this exact topic….

Therefore, do we hold on to that or let it go?

Over time I have found that HOW we do this makes a great deal of difference and surprisingly (or maybe not) each one of the situations may just require a little bit of a different approach.  So no wonder it feels daunting and like something we end up “avoiding”!  Even if we deep down know that NOT making a decision, is actually STILL a decision…  right?

Here’s an example.  Lately I have been thinking a lot about things, people, feelings, behaviors, etc.  that I really need to put through this course of thinking.  Maybe it’s the natural element of newness, clearing, cleansing and so on associated with the Spring season (here in the Midwest of the USA at least)…  yet, I continue to just “think about it”.

Regardless, WHEN the time “hit’s you” and there is an inner prompting to take heed of this process regarding something in your life, do your due diligence and check in with your true self/“inner you”/heart space for true guidance before jumping in.

How many times have you made decisions hot from an emotion?  We say something without thinking, we spontaneously quit on something out of anger, or we hold on to items for years and don’t even know why….   Without that “north star” point of reference for ourselves, we are basically left at the mercy/whim of our ego, emotions, and any other random mechanism we grasp for in a moment of panic or desperation.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  We really can take a moment or more to really “feel into” what it’s about and find our inner voice which can give us an idea or at least an understanding that is deeper and more meaningful, and ultimately provide us some much needed guidance for making a decision that deep down we really can live with.

So, as you “spring clean” your physical, emotional, and/or mental space, take 5 slow deep breaths, blow each one out as if you were blowing out birthday candles, and THEN ask yourself, do I “want” this?, do I “need” this and if so WHY and for what purpose?  Do the answers fit with your true heart direction or goals?  (be clear on a “want” and “need” as defined by YOU)

Spending some time assessing this part really can make a difference in not only our feelings and satisfaction in knowing we have followed our “heart”, but ultimately in our ability to “move on” or “stick around” with people, feelings, emotions, tasks, behaviors, etc.

For me, I have discovered I have a lot harder time letting go of things than I realized.  From clearing my phone of pictures (which I had already backed up in 5 other placed mind you) to cleaning out my closet to making a much needed change in my work life…. It’s been a process of going just a little deeper each time I would think about the topic and eventually I found my way to the root reason I was still “holding on” – that was when I found the freedom to make a choice… I then knew WHY I was holding on and then I and only ME could decide if I wanted to continue with that or not.

Yes it takes time, work, diligence, and consistency for it to become “second nature” but since we are all a “work in progress” anyway, why not dig into the deeper reason behind why we “hold on” vs “let go”?  After all – each effort is one step closer to a true heart connection and increased inner peace.

Sending you peace in the process

Shiela