Anger, Anxiety, and Depression

by Shiela Reed

Although all of these are common emotions in all of us – for some of us (or even all of us at some point) one or all of them seem to just “get the best of us” and we struggle.

The time and energy we spend “recovering” from a bout of any one of them can feel exhausting. And that is usually where the “tables get turned” if you will – when we fight them, hate them, don’t want them, ignore them, or any other mechanism, besides finding that true inner place of acceptance and allowance – we will struggle.

Some of the mechanisms are very obvious- the angry at the world person; angry at everything and everyone. Some are more subtle – the person who ignores and pretends it’s never there, or gets so good at “stuffing it”, they end up disliking themselves for having any of these feelings.

Regardless of where we land on this, one of the key things seems to first be to be able to become aware of what is going on within our own energy system when these are present. That takes time and practice, but it will do one thing pretty quickly, which is important – it will take a bit of the “being controlled by” that thought/emotion out of that particular energy field and gives you even just a second to recognize an opportunity to shift it differently,.. IF YOU want to.  (Be honest with yourself here, sometimes we do just want to finish the moment of anger, sadness, or anxiousness and that is necessary and absolutely OK – just remain AWARE that YOU are choosing it, not that it is controlling you.)

The next hardest part is practicing remaining in this awareness – it’s like learning to ride a bike or even walk – you WILL fall down, it will not be smooth or “perfect”- hell!- some days it will seem impossible! But you try again each time and eventually it gets clearer as you become more connected to your “inner you”and THAT, feels better.

SO when I found myself stuck for long periods of time in those places- it was dark, scary, and lonely, because I simply didn’t know a clear way out or that in reality I was “feeding” that energy with my fear and lack of understanding at a deeper awareness, that the Ego mind was trying to “control” and “protect me”, the only way it knows how. Once I was able to recognize it – and shift a little, it felt better, for even a moment – yet truly, again, the hardest part continues to be not being discouraged or “beat myself up” when that “shift” didn’t/doesn’t, “last long enough”.

I have eventually found myself in a “true” enough space with my “inner me”, that I began asking “what does that even mean?… long enough?”. . I have been and continue to be immediately reminded that this “time frame” is not and does not mean what our mental/ego minds tell us.

What comes to mind for you? Long enough – “good” -seems as if we would want that forever right?   Long enough -“bad”- seems like we would want that shortened right?
But what if in the small moment you become aware and you try a slight shift in perspective – it changes the whole energetic dynamic ever so slightly and you realize – THAT is what is within you?!

Today I listen to and watch the rain – my sluggish energy started yesterday and instead of going with the feeling of everyone else “Oh yuck it’s raining, it’s grey, its dreary”, I have been able to choose to self nurture, slow down, appreciate the life that the rain is bringing and instead of grey and dreary I have been able to humbly appreciate and SEE the jumping colors of Spring – green grass forming, Easter lilies and Spring flowers popping, forsythia budding and the early sprouts on the trees.
I realize full heartedly that it is much more than just “a will to change” our perspective, but I do know it just takes the one baby step or a few turns of the peddles on that bike for the first time – to realize “I can do it” and “it’s OK to fall”, I only need to try again and love myself fully and deeply enough to know I’m worth the effort.
Just as you are too.
Peace, Love and Blessings

Shiela

March Monthly Message – Self-Acceptance

by Shiela Reed

As I’ve meditated on the message of self-acceptance a few things kept coming in.

One – it’s definition may not be exactly what one may think.

Two – it takes a deeper level of connection to understand and be aware enough to continue this inner journey.

The “definition” as given to me through inner promptings is more about a deep self-love that holds zero forms of judgement.  It is not good, it is not bad, it is not of ego.  It is a most pure essence of acceptance and comes from our deepest heart space and connection with our divine spark of life.

An example of how easily it can become confusing or miss guided kept coming up.  Although there is importance in taking care of oneself and at times, in being “proud” of things we do and “of ourselves”, it is not about being at the expense of others or one sided thinking.  Being prideful in that sort of way is actually a product of the ego.  One way I “check myself” regarding this is by first – being able to be aware that something may not be setting just right – I may have a twinge of “hmm that feels at odds” (even when I don’t want to see it!).    That’s when I ask questions of myself such as “where is that coming from?”, is that connected to an unmet emotional need maybe?

Anymore, I have also been able to start telling rather quickly if I get a “defensiveness” that rises up, such as “I am so proud of this or that part of me that I must tell everyone about it (I check if I’m being boastful and maybe really feeling loss or “less than” in some way as the real motivator for my announcements) and there is also a clue that if I feel as if they “do not see how good I am” I feel hurt or angry (I check for other missing needs, such as attention, love, etc that I may actually be seeking from outside myself).

As an alternative, if there is a level of true heart self-acceptance, there will not be a “need” associated with it.  It will “just be”.  It is not about the recognition or notation.  Instead it is the feeling of deep self-love, knowing you are living a true connection in that moment.  The topic or event or activity and any outcomes or lack thereof,  “just is”.

As far as the second part – I noticed as I have been contemplating this, it became clear that there is a whole lot more to it under the surface and it is NOT that easy!  I have returned to my meditation on it a few times the last few weeks to try and figure out how to even begin to say anything about it and NOT inadvertently include my own ego/bias/definitions.  🙂  I was again reminded how it is simply not a matter of shear “will” or overpowering that can be done by the mind, emotion, or a “stronger desire”.

I simply cannot WILL MYSELF to love me better or myself more.  No amount of affirmations or books or surface work will get you all the way there.  It takes the deeper, inner workings to finally shift that part of our inner consciousness and that quite frankly is very different for each of us!  There is no “one size fits all”, there is no “one book you will read” that will snap everyone into this space, there is no “one practice/program” that is guaranteed to work for every single person.

That’s probably clear as we think of the many motivational speakers, self-help books, courses, therapies, etc. that seem to work for some but not for someone else…

We will each come to this place on our own and at our own divine timing.  Maybe some never will… that is part of a greater mystery for another day…  🙂

In actuality, it is one of the most significant steps in our personal life journey that we can and will ever take.  Because technically without it, we seem to always feel as if we are still just a little short from “really getting it”.  Maybe this is why we keep searching and looking?  Like we know there is a key link that is a core connector for all the parts of our journey….

Having this inner connection, no matter how small it starts, is where the transformation begins.  It’s like a small light in a dark tunnel that as we notice it and move toward it, it becomes brighter and truer.  You gain the reference feelings of “just knowing your truth” and you find peace and comfort there, even if no one else does.  Yes it may be difficult, but it’s at this point that we realize there is no need to force our own thoughts and feelings, or brag or boast, because we have our own deep inner true heart level of self-acceptance that cannot be taken away from us.

The most difficult thing for me to remember at this point, is to love myself through the times of doubt and setbacks, and remember I will always be learning.  Because this is not a level of life easily lived every minute of every day – yet is it worthy of the effort to try.

May you start with new awareness as you take one step at a time toward a deeper level of true heart self-acceptance.

Blessings

Shiela

Sharing a milestone of healing

by Shiela Reed
This started as “just another day” for me as I got up and was doing what I do on Saturday mornings. I’m sure it would have crossed my mind or popped up somewhere today, but my “non drinking life” has become my norm and a super special and important person reminded me just how special it is to remember. 😚
 
12 years ago today I became a “non drinker”. I’m not going to go into all that reflection but I do need to make sure it’s clear to myself that I am Alive, Blessed, and Grateful.
 
I truly try to live that, just as much as probably anyone else out there “just trying to do a little better each day”, but it’s days like today and special people who remind you, just how blessed one really is.
 
My heart is raised with love 💕 to ALL those who continue to struggle with all types of addictions. My story is not one of “devastation and destruction” as most people think about regarding this subject.
Many many people who know me have wondered “why” and that it “never seemed that bad”. But in reality, there was plenty of “collateral damage” and my inner self had taken a hit for so long I never realized how separated I had become from the true ME.
 
So as I shed tears of joy and happiness today and thankfulness for the life I’ve graciously been given. I clearly know that it could not be what it is today without those first steps to walk toward change. 🐾
 
Yes it was hard. Yes it was scary. No I didn’t “want” to do it. But the special spark and divine connection to my creator which has always lived within, kept whispering and telling me I had to or my life here was never going to get better.
 
Everyone’s “first steps” are different, mine happened to be counseling, lots of self reflection, a desire for change, and then thankfully AA, which taught me exactly the base I needed. I never want to forget or take that for granted.
 
I am especially thankful for the many “reminders” I am given on a daily basis which keeps me humbled , grateful, and deeply blessed.
 
Have a great day and find something good to be openly thankful for today. 🤗 🌞🕊
Blessings
Shiela