by Shiela Reed
Although all of these are common emotions in all of us – for some of us (or even all of us at some point) one or all of them seem to just “get the best of us” and we struggle.
The time and energy we spend “recovering” from a bout of any one of them can feel exhausting. And that is usually where the “tables get turned” if you will – when we fight them, hate them, don’t want them, ignore them, or any other mechanism, besides finding that true inner place of acceptance and allowance – we will struggle.
Some of the mechanisms are very obvious- the angry at the world person; angry at everything and everyone. Some are more subtle – the person who ignores and pretends it’s never there, or gets so good at “stuffing it”, they end up disliking themselves for having any of these feelings.
Regardless of where we land on this, one of the key things seems to first be to be able to become aware of what is going on within our own energy system when these are present. That takes time and practice, but it will do one thing pretty quickly, which is important – it will take a bit of the “being controlled by” that thought/emotion out of that particular energy field and gives you even just a second to recognize an opportunity to shift it differently,.. IF YOU want to. (Be honest with yourself here, sometimes we do just want to finish the moment of anger, sadness, or anxiousness and that is necessary and absolutely OK – just remain AWARE that YOU are choosing it, not that it is controlling you.)
The next hardest part is practicing remaining in this awareness – it’s like learning to ride a bike or even walk – you WILL fall down, it will not be smooth or “perfect”- hell!- some days it will seem impossible! But you try again each time and eventually it gets clearer as you become more connected to your “inner you”and THAT, feels better.
SO when I found myself stuck for long periods of time in those places- it was dark, scary, and lonely, because I simply didn’t know a clear way out or that in reality I was “feeding” that energy with my fear and lack of understanding at a deeper awareness, that the Ego mind was trying to “control” and “protect me”, the only way it knows how. Once I was able to recognize it – and shift a little, it felt better, for even a moment – yet truly, again, the hardest part continues to be not being discouraged or “beat myself up” when that “shift” didn’t/doesn’t, “last long enough”.
I have eventually found myself in a “true” enough space with my “inner me”, that I began asking “what does that even mean?… long enough?”. . I have been and continue to be immediately reminded that this “time frame” is not and does not mean what our mental/ego minds tell us.
What comes to mind for you? Long enough – “good” -seems as if we would want that forever right? Long enough -“bad”- seems like we would want that shortened right?
But what if in the small moment you become aware and you try a slight shift in perspective – it changes the whole energetic dynamic ever so slightly and you realize – THAT is what is within you?!
Today I listen to and watch the rain – my sluggish energy started yesterday and instead of going with the feeling of everyone else “Oh yuck it’s raining, it’s grey, its dreary”, I have been able to choose to self nurture, slow down, appreciate the life that the rain is bringing and instead of grey and dreary I have been able to humbly appreciate and SEE the jumping colors of Spring – green grass forming, Easter lilies and Spring flowers popping, forsythia budding and the early sprouts on the trees.
I realize full heartedly that it is much more than just “a will to change” our perspective, but I do know it just takes the one baby step or a few turns of the peddles on that bike for the first time – to realize “I can do it” and “it’s OK to fall”, I only need to try again and love myself fully and deeply enough to know I’m worth the effort.
Just as you are too.
Peace, Love and Blessings