January 2020 Message of the Month – Balance of Past, Present, and Future

Balance of Past, Present, and Future

by Shiela Reed

Welcome to 2020! A new year and new decade!

What an amazing time to be alive! There is so much going on and I find myself embracing this life as I know it now. This is quite a bit different than how I have known things. It’s nice to actually finally feel that things are coming together.

I had been mostly aware and connected to my physical beingness as far as an outward expression, up to around 2010 and had always felt and had a very “separateness” to my inner self and awareness. I always knew it was there, and I actually always knew what it was saying, but I found myself often “ignoring it”. I kept choosing to be connected to one or the other at different points and finally realized I actually wasn’t “balanced” at all! Instead I needed to “blend” so it was one, the other, both, the same, and neither all at once.

My journey up to that point was a lot of reconciling the past, so as I went deeper into my inner soul journey and what I “thought” that needed to be, I found I really started to separate from my physical and didn’t exactly realize it. So over these years of inner work and “leaving out the physical” – I really just perpetuated a different version of the same duality. As that came more into my awareness the last couple of years I have found myself kind of naturally working on melding/blending/balancing them and naturally finding the inclusion of all my aspects. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual/soul, energetic/etheric.
Interestingly enough, it is not until now, at this point in time, have I really felt such a cool “clearness” to this awareness and what it feels like to kind of be “together” in ONE.

So as I meditate and contemplate this season of my life and feel the awareness of my previous work and especially how the first half of this last decade began to pull together the acknowledgment that my past experiences were learning opportunities, was I able to start to be able to truly embrace and forgive myself for not “knowing everything”. I learned to allow healing of much of my “past”. And as the mid to later parts of the last decade began to show me how to begin looking at the importance of becoming more in-tune with my present self, I found myself naturally ending the last year of this decade also becoming more aware that my future self has something to contribute as well. I find a deep self healing resonance in this space as my true self shows me the creation of my own trinity of “full self”.

THIS has been the most recent work I have been doing and it is very humbling how this has shown itself to me and how the next decade of the journey for me is to be about further combining, melding, and balancing all three to feel true PEACE in my present moments.

So I feel compelled to share the message of this month, the first month of a new year and new decade- as it is time to feel balance in our past, present, and future.

As I draw from my own journey and works and the message that has come forward for this month and year, my hope is that there is something that resonates to move you one step closer to your own true purpose in your own journey.

While we all have different places we are at, there is a need for understanding and remembering that it’s all important, but just in different ways than our mind tries to understand it. I believe this is why it is difficult to write and share it sometimes.

We may know mentally that the “past is the past”, but we don’t understand why we cannot seem to “let go” of something in particular. This is the example of an energetic tie which is usually related to an element of our ego needs being met somehow. We either found safety, solace, acceptance, justification or any other number of “pay off’s” that we thought were meant to “make us feel better” or “support” us in some way.

For me, a very important turning point was being able to truly see that we do the best we can with what we have at the time and I feel that with true heartfelt compassion. While I’ve always said that and known it, I strangely realized, I had seemed to always do this much more freely with others than I could for myself. This is likely why I was drawn to being part of the helping field professions. Once I noticed this began to shift for me, it helped me see there was so much more to my “aliveness”.

I began to see the effects on my “nowness”. So this understanding that truly being PRESENT then expanded to include learning how to reconcile my own past within myself. We can see that occur for people when there is a deeper level of forgiveness that truly has “no strings attached” and it’s expression radiates with a feeling of unconditional love. When I started to feel that for myself, it was amazing the warmth and expansion I felt within.

The present became something that was “more” than it had been. It now included a healed part of me.

Today, there is a recognition that my newest understanding of “being present” also has inclusion of the future. Not as in controlling it and/or being afraid of it, which is what I found to be blocking my ability to truly to connect to it. But a similar kind of lovingness I learned to have by embracing my past.  The ability gain the balance of having a connection to my future self is equally important and necessary for me to truly be PRESENT in my current moments.

As this has also been expanding for me, I feel the beginnings of a similar shift. A space of new awareness and growth. It shows me new information about myself and the world I’m a part of. This change and paradigm shift in our present world seems to be reflecting similarly in many others. It says “balance the past and future to create the truest form of the present”.

Clearly we each have our own role/part in this process. It does not mean the present becomes “perfect”. Every “part” still contributes to the “whole”. So they won’t be the same.  So we will need to pay attention to being drawn to judgement, of self or others.  We will learn to be “ok” with different because deep down we know WE are ok too.

I am truly hopeful that as this year unfolds and the exciting new things emerge- we can all begin to see how we can each choose our parts to contribute to that “newness” and begin to do that more and more together. By combining the cool differences to create something new.  A new invention, a new theory, a new thought, a new way of life….  Even if we are different from one another.

So may your reflections on your past show you your life lessons and your true inner self show you how to be easy with yourself and others, as you learn to allow those lessons to unfold into new experiences in the present. And in these new experiences may we all be able to see the excitement of a new lesson and the opportunities it brings while not being fearful of our future.  Thus we may fully embrace being a soul with a body in this world.  And so it is…

Many blessings and hopes for a new year and decade full of building blocks that will be the solid base we each need for the bigger future.

Shiela

A REMINDER: THE SELF HEALING PRAYER CIRCLE

On the LAST MONDAY OF EVERY MONTH we offer a FREE service to the public we call The Self Healing Prayer Circle. The next session will be Monday, July 29th, 7 PM Pacific Standard Time (USA). To register please contact Bryan at:

bryan@theheartspath.net

Take the first step to take of yourself and your challenges.

To see if this is a service that feels right for you, please click on the Services page and read the description and intention of The Self Healing Prayer Circle. Again, this a FREE service.

Please have a safe and healthy New Year!

 

SAY YES TO YOURSELF by Bryan Moss

I’ve noticed many people on the spiritual path don’t have an issue when it comes to helping others in need, it’s when asked if they’ve accepted and love themselves they tend to give some interesting reactions.
The most common reaction is one of being slightly annoyed, responding with an empty, “Of course I accept and love myself.”
Some people are caught off guard with that question because they never even thought about the subject.
Then some people look at you with, “What do you mean?

THE TRUTH IS many on the spiritual journey aren’t used to accepting and giving themselves love. Don’t get me wrong, most have noble intentions and mean well. However, they’re always projecting love out to others first. Like being on auto-pilot. They believe that their sole duty is to serve others, putting themselves on the back burner.

I know I’m going to catch a lot of flack for what I’m going to say next, but these are my true feelings and I wouldn’t be true to my soul if I sugar-coated what I believe just to make readers happy.

In my opinion “sacrifice” is a dirty nine-letter word. I think sacrificing oneself is the ego’s way of making someone feel like they’re special. On a “special mission” to save mankind. To be a “holy hero” among fellow souls. I’ve touched on this in different ways in my previous writings. Putting yourself on the back burner shows you don’t really care about your own well being. Think about it. What difference can you make for others when you don’t care enough to tend to your own needs? What good are you? If you don’t care of your own business first how are you going to be able to give the full, proper attention to anyone else? And I mean taking care of yourself on all levels. Emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually. Getting enough rest, enough water intake, proper nutrition, exercising on a regular basis, having a regular meditation routine, the list goes on.

Self -Love is NOT about loving yourself, it’s about learning the truth about yourself. Read that line again and let it really sink in. Self-Love is NOT about loving yourself, it’s about LEARNING THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF. And ONLY then, when you begin to learn the truth about yourself, can you begin to accept, forgive, and then love yourself FIRST. Only then can you move on and compassionately give that acceptance, forgiveness, and love to others.

It’s no big secret that you can’t accept another person’s faults until you’ve accepted similar faults within your own self. The energetic rule of thumb is, if someone is doing something that makes you angry, or hurt, or even slightly irritated, then you most likely have those same qualities in you that are unresolved. We’re all mirrors of one another. Our egos don’t want us to acknowledge this but it’s true.

The same applies to forgiveness. Have you ever been told by someone they forgive you and it seems ‘robot-like’? It’s just because ‘they’re spiritual’ and this makes them bigger than you because, after all, that’s what spiritual people do is forgive? Start taking an honest look at yourself. Notice any shame or guilt you kept stored inside you for months or most likely YEARS. The stuff you can’t seem to look at again. But do it with a soft eye and remember at that time you handled the experience the best you could. Even if you knew at the time it was a stupid mistake, then acknowledge you made a stupid choice. This is when you begin to take true responsibility for yourself. Forgive yourself for any harm you did at the time, whether it was to yourself or others. Only then can you unconditionally start forgiving others and grow during your journey.
Accepting the truth about yourself is the only way you can even begin to accept the truth about others. It’s not even about two sides of the coin, coming from Yourself vs. Them. The truth is people life is a one-sided coin. We all deal with the same experiences in different shapes and forms. The sooner you wake up to that fact the sooner you’ll begin to eliminate frustration and victimhood from your path.

Here’s another line I’ll probably get grief over: You’re wasting your time giving to others until you unconditionally give to yourself. Everything I’ve previously said applies to this fact. Be vigilant in rediscovering all of the corners in your shadow’s closet. But do it without judging yourself. Acknowledge it and move on. You don’t need permission from anyone to liberate those hidden emotions within. Let me put it this way…..you’re eventually going to do it anyway. Whether it’s now from your own honest efforts or on your death bed. Most people, out of fear, wait until circumstances appear that have them contemplating all of this for months, weeks, days, and at times..moments before they know they’re going to die. It’s only then they realize all of those ‘hidden truths’ were not that important to keep hidden. It’s only then they realize all of the wasted effort and energy it took for them NOT to be truthful with themselves. All of that effort and energy….which could’ve been utilized in more supportive and productive ways, for themselves, and then for others.

DON’T WAIT. Don’t procrastinate in taking a look at the truth of yourself. The number one dreaded enemy of procrastination is “the sooner the easier”.
Say “YES” to discovering all of the truth about yourself.
Why wait?

December message of the month:  Endings, Beginnings, and Powerful Energy

December message of the month:  Endings, Beginnings, and Powerful Energy

By Shiela Reed

There has been so much going on the last few months it seems that as I ebbed and flowed through my own world and life, I realized no solid “message of the month” came to me in November.  I was very tuned in to my own Golden Jubilee birth month and the afterglow from an incredible journey to Europe – specifically United Kingdom and Ireland the previous month, that well….  I just accepted that nothing lengthy came of it.  Yet a few inspirational things I jotted down may be of significance –

November 1st – Don’t get caught up in comparisons:  whether with others or your own thoughts of an ideal past or future life.  It will only bring you down and you will suffer ego illusions.  Tricking you into thinking you have a “bad life”.

Our life is our own, we have the things to learn, we have things to see, and we are here in an effort to become aware and pay attention to it all at our own pace.

November 26th – “Feel more Blessed than Stressed – by having a heart full with gratitude”

So it seemed that with a sense of very clear “ending” in many aspects for November – there was an equal and balanced feeling of “new beginnings” right around the corner coming into December.  I was also reminded of a past reflection regarding the “power of intention” and the importance of remembering the true level of power that is actually behind them, even if we are not fully aware of them.  It can take us far into any direction – and although there is no “judgement” about it, we tend to say that there is a positive or negative associated with it, depending on what we see as the outcome.

The energies behind our intentions are very powerful… even if we don’t consciously notice or see them.  This also plays a part in what pulls us to our Future or ties us to our Past and thus can “make or break” our current moments in life.

So use it wisely, be aware, consider it thoroughly and make the choices that are true to you, helping you to be the best version of YOU and thus supports the higher good.  This is a strong support for both the ending and beginning.

November and December bring endings and beginnings

In the midst of endings often it is hard to remember that there is always an opening for new beginnings.  We just need to sometimes remember to trust in that.  It is interesting that November was already showing this “ending” and December was showing new beginnings since we are so usually focused on this at the actual end of the year.  But this shift has been significant for a reason.  The type of energy field that is transitioning is doing so as a kind of “final hurrah” as the new year will be bringing very different forms of thinking, processing, and “doing” in general.  There is still a huge learning curve to contend with, but the way I am understanding this to play out from November to December is specifically to give us a really clear “heads up” and kind of “last chance” to get some stuff in order and be more clear.  (revisit the above about the power of our intentions for example 😉)

Lots going on December 2019

While the feeling of change from November to December has been big and it has felt like the change of a year… with THAT still yet coming our way!

My research and promptings tell me to pay extra attention around the full moon (see link below), new moon, and year end change this year.  While there are always elements of significance with annual year shifts, this one feels as if it is meant to be a year of “new beginnings” creating a “new base” from which we will each build our new future.  So paying closer attention to where and how we spend our time and who with is important, because they all will have a lasting impact on our futures.

This is also true of where and how we spend our money.  Supporting places and/or things that do not fit with our own inner truths- will result in more of a noticeable sense of “pain” in some way because it violates our inner integrity and that is going to be more and more impossible to “ignore”.

I personally am making note of the need to pay attention to my own promptings even more than usual and trust them without question.  I have started that this month and while it would seem to usually be uncomfortable, there is a level assuredness- that helps me just “know” it is necessary, it is true, it will be well.  Even though I can feel elements of chaos floating all around me, I feel a strong sense of “due north” for myself right now.

Specifically- I’m tuning in to some additional training’s, speaking up, and looking at how setting my boundaries in all areas in the next few weeks is very necessary.  I feel the importance of connecting to astrological information,  and furthering my use of my crystals, oils, and natural elements.  This seems to be a good “training time” for us all.

So far, by already doing this, I have felt and seen movement in terms of what is coming into view for the next year and how that is and will be part of my expanding energy guidance and healing practice.

It continues to amaze me at the state of awareness I find myself blessed to be a witness to and how my heart knows already there is a benefit of this all, that it will be a greater help and support to others than I can even see or imagine.  It is there… in the future.. waiting for me.  I will arrive… see you soon. ❤

Here are a couple cool resources I found and have utilized that is interesting and speaks to much of this in greater detail if you are interested in deeper information.

FULL MOON energies https://www.moonomens.com/12-12-gateway-last-full-moon/

December energies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-7vdBI0kaU

Many blessings and much love –

Shiela

“Come To The Cliff” by Bryan Moss

In the late 1990s, I came across a poem shared by a metaphysician and philosopher Stuart Wilde. It spoke volumes to me and on one of my cross country visits I read it to my dad. Sometime later, in the early 2000’s, he called asking me to send him a copy of the poem.

Fast forward to December 2017, I was visiting dad. At the time dad was using the wheelchair on a regular basis. One evening, after dinner, he inquired about that poem again. I asked him why that poem made such an impression on him. He thought it illustrated one’s undying faith in our Creator.

I recently returned from my father’s funeral services. The minister asked that his family members submit their reflections of our father in writing, to insert into the service program and those attending could read them. At the conclusion of what I wrote, I included the following poem. As far as I know, the author is unknown.

I’d love to share that poem with you.

*************************

COME TO THE CLIFF

“Come to the cliff,” he said.

They said, “But we’re afraid.”

“Come to the cliff,” he said.

They came.

He pushed them.

And they flew.

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BE YOUR OWN JOURNEY by Bryan Moss

Be your own journey. What do I mean by that?

**Don’t make “searching out there” for answers your priority. There’s a difference between educating yourself and constantly seeking. Rely more on your intuition, gut, inner guidance, hunches, (all of which is basically coming from your Heart) because all of that is coming from within yourself. Think about it. Who knows YOU better than YOU? A textbook? A Guru? A priest? I don’t think so. All of those can be good guideposts, or suggestions, to help you on your journey. But who REALLY knows you? An honest look will reveal…….. it’s yourself.

**Don’t compare your journey to others. You can have 100 people be of the same religion, attend the same church, all go to that place of worship at the same time of the week, and have the same belief systems and….so what? Each individual is on their own journey. Each is unique in how they go about their own quest. 100 people may sing the same song, recite the same prayer together, and listen to the church practitioner together, attend the exact same service/ritual, but the only one quality they will have in common is….they WON’T have the same spiritual journey.
After all, this is not a race to see who gets “there” before the other, or who “gets it” first. Us humanoids are so conditioned, early in life, to compare ourselves to others that we don’t realize it. It becomes second nature fast. Look at nature. Do you think if you planted an evergreen tree next to an oak tree the trees are going to care who grows the tallest? Comparing your “progress” (I hate that term) to another’s is a waste of energy. Be comfortable in your own skin. “Know” wherever you’re at in the present is exactly where you need to be for your own journey. All paths/journeys lead to the same source.

**Be your own expert. How? Duh? Get to know yourself. Be relentless to find the true you. Be honest with yourself at all costs. This loops back to my first point. No one really knows you better than You. If your health isn’t the greatest and you’re tired of going to doctors with little, if no results, start educating yourself on your condition. Don’t be afraid to be your own lab rat and experiment on yourself. Don’t be afraid to look outside of the box.
You find that you’re curious about which belief system to adopt? Explore all belief systems and choose the one that resonates. Better yet, do the unthinkable…create your own belief system. Who says you can’t? Do what works for you, not what works for others.

**Don’t sit around expecting answers to come to you. You have to go to the answers. In other words, don’t procrastinate. Be active. Sure, there’s a time for being still and reflecting. There’s a time for meditating. And just as importantly, there’s always time to actually DO something. I heard a saying years ago, “God (Universe..Source..insert whatever you call that) helps those that help themselves”.
In other words, take responsibility for yourself and don’t give it away to other people. That’s a dead-end street. Listen to your Heart, not the rational mind of the crowd. Eventually, be your own expert. Refer to an earlier post I wrote, “YOUR HEART’S BRAIN”, for more on this particular point.

Take the above steps and eliminate years of frustration. Trust me. I wish I did. I think of all of the energy I spent towards externalizing my efforts when I should’ve been putting all of that energy towards responsibility for my own being. Don’t expect “experts” to have all of the answers if any at all when it comes to your-SELF. Don’t misunderstand me. There are some wonderful GUIDElines out there but FEEL them out first. USE WHAT’S USEFUL FOR YOU AND THROW OUT THE REST.

Take the one and only proven true path…Be YOUR OWN Journey. The tickets are cheaper and you won’t have to put up with smaller airline seats. (wink)

October Message of the Month: Follow Your Truth- Don’t be Fooled by “false profits”

Don’t be “fooled”…

by Shiela Reed

This months message came in strong about how our own inner awareness is truly our ultimate “safety net” for following truth and not being victim of being only a “follower”. This can be true of anything we cling so strongly to as a sole solution for “answers”, that we actually end up missing the deeper truth of love that comes from within.

The importance of tapping into our own connection to this sacred space and divine knowledge is ever important. It is what will keep us on our own true path and thus not be misled or misguided by others (or our ego mind) when our hearts “know better”. I’m sure you know what I mean. The conflict of when we are or have been told a certain thing we have taken as truth- yet deep inside our inner systems churn in discomfort as it seems “not so”. Similarly when we do not follow our inner prompting to do or go in a direction but we resist and do not, (usually out of fear). These are all different examples of the same “point”, which I realize comes up often in our blogs.

It is just that it is such an important concept, yet it is not meant to mean we are automatically “wrong” if we do go on one of these “other paths”, it is more that we will end up needing to understand that we just may not be living our “truest lives” as based on our own “purpose” which is given to us from our creator and source.

Although it sounds daunting (at least it kind of goes to me) it is really exactly what we are all going through every day anyway. The difference is the levels or degrees of awareness we are able to tap into and then what we choose to do with or about it.
This might come across “woowoo” or mystical, or even religious, or maybe selfish to some. A “reaction” to this is likely due to an ego attachment of some kind trying to label and then control how to react and then what to do…

I offer the words and concept as something to simply consider and let it land where it needs to land. Tapping in to your inner place of knowledge and connection to our divine spark and creation will help you utilize information you receive however it is needed for you at the time. It is very common for that to “change” over time as we have more life experiences and allow new perspectives to be considered. Thus our changes in perspectives and considerations leading to an increased knowledge and hopefully levels of wisdom as we truly listen from within.

In the end, the point is for it to be about where WE truly are and our ability to be in tune to that inner space as we navigate the never ending barrage of energy, projections, and information coming at us, all while sifting and sorting through our own energy, projections and personal experiences from past and present.

I realize that the potential here is counter intuitive as it creates a sense of seeming to need to “seek” and look harder, yet in reality the truth is quite the opposite… it’s that the stillness we find and quieter we are in a moment through which we actually receive information, the guidance that we actually need which seems darn near impossible when in the midst of crisis, anxiety, and feelings of urgency.

Sometimes it feels a bit like a “set up”, like it should not be this difficult, yet I suspect that is part of the free will that we have all been granted as humans. I really find myself noticing the need to “come to terms” with my humanness and stop trying to act as if I should be better or know more. While it is important to be gentle with ourselves, I also find a delicate balance between giving in to this and teetering on the verge of complacency.

While we are all on our own journey and doing the best we can at the moment, remember to allow the awakening to stir within you so you can be open to what is in the name of good for you and all… not just be a follower without knowing what, who, or why you follow and that is actually aligns with your true self.

I hope everyone finds their own unique “north star” while realizing deep within our hearts, we truly do follow the same light.

Peace and blessings to you and yours, may the final months of this year provide you with the information and guidance to prepare you for your next new year.

Shiela

OUR CRITICAL INNER VOICE: THE SEQUEL by Bryan Moss

Before you set eyes on this blog you may want to check out my previous blogs where the first blog I wrote, when creating Your Heart’s Wisdom, is titled OUR CRITICAL INNER VOICE. It’s not really necessary but it definitely touches on aspects concerning that little dominant voice in our head that can really play games, screw us up, and make us believe it’s for our best intentions…WHEN IT’S NOT.
I get an inquiry, once in a while, in regards to the critical inner voice and how to handle it. Apparently, after reading OUR CRITICAL INNER VOICE a few readers started to take notice and realized that little voice in their head wasn’t the “real” them/ or “you”.

This particular chapter, or sequel if you will, of OUR CRITICAL INNER VOICE, is about IDEALIZATIONS. Our C.I.V. (critical inner voice), or Ego, or mind, or (insert name) loves for us to think we have to live up to certain rules, or regulations, or morals, or standards in order to be the “ideal” student, or human, or soul. We exhaust our energy trying to live up to an established image which, in reality, is impossible to achieve. These idealizations, most likely, were programmed in us at an early age through life’s experiences. Of course, those experiences arose from a multitude of sources. Parents, school teachers, religious influences, and peers are all possible contributors. Not to mention from outside agencies such as social media, news, or good old Hollywood by-products (television, movies, commercials, youtube, etc.). “Set Standards” to live up too. Let me give you a personal example.

If you’ve read my brief bio you know I was raised by a minister. I had all sorts of dogma programmed into me. Certain “ideals” to live by. Anything Bible-related, of course. Then there was the social expectations of being a preacher’s son. These expectations had me thinking I had to be a step ahead of others. In a weird way, those expectations had me being a rebel in many ways. I guess one could say I was a “closet rebel”. Haha! I kept to myself conflicting thoughts and feelings pertaining to how I was “suppose to be”. I was slowly going against the “norm”. Very confusing times consisting of pain, anger, sadness, and nobody to share my thoughts with.
ONE OF THOSE IDEALS: we are all supposed to have perfect, loving relationships with all family members. The 1960s LEAVE IT TO BEAVER television series kind of family relations. Ward and June were the gentle and understanding parents with their sons Wally and Theodore, nicknamed Beaver. Whatever conflicts the family had everyone lived happily ever after in a lovey-dovey respectful manner. All family members went to bed every night with smiles on their faces. I grew up thinking all family members had each other’s back.
Flash forward to my high school years and my mother wasn’t such a nice person towards me. She had mood swings, with me not knowing when she was going to lash out at me. Most of the time it was over the most ridiculous things. I couldn’t wait to leave the house, and the moment I had a chance to get a scholarship in college I went for it, got it, and got the hell out of there. I was hurt and damaged goods with very low self-esteem. I was Mr. Victim personified!

What saved my butt was that “closet rebel” within myself. I became a seeker of sorts. No longer under the religious dogma of my parents, I looked into a variety of religions, philosophies, hobbies, you name it. My brother called me the black sheep of the family.
You can only imagine when my family found out I was learning how to walk on fire in my late 20’s. Judgments definitely came out at me big time. In their minds, I was definitely playing with dark influences, or even “the devil”. Whenever I shared I was enrolling in any type of mind expansion course, or alternate spiritual teachings, I was considered “misguided”. Whenever I came home to visit my mother made sure I received a fair dose of guilt and doubt in whatever I was pursuing. All along I was hurt that I wasn’t living up to my mother’s expectations of me. I was supposed to get married and have her grandchildren by the time I was 30. Sorry, mom (not really).
I frowned upon seeking had me learning there was a difference between “love” and “like”. I eventually came to terms that, though I loved my mom because she was my mom, I didn’t like her as a person. Now that really messed with my ideal mom/son relationship. I learned that even though you loved a family member it was perfectly okay NOT to like the person they were.
In my early 30’s my mother called me up one Saturday morning.

“Son, I have something I need to tell you.”
“Okay, mom.”
She informed me, “I just kicked a 15-year addiction to valium.”

BOOM!
I did the math. That meant she started to take valium when I was 16 years old. Now those mood swings and bouts of irrational anger, all of a sudden, made sense. No wonder I didn’t have it a LEAVE IT TO BEAVER upbringing. After mom shared about her addiction I slowly was able to forgive all of those irrational experiences I had with her. It wasn’t easy, and it took a number of years to release those memories of anguish but I was able to eventually forgive her.

Years later I was able to recontextualize those events, and the actions of my mom, with compassion. If my mom knew better she would’ve done better. But at that time of her life her only “out”, or way to cope with whatever she was dealing with, was to resort to valium to “calm her down”, or to put it in energetic terms, to “numb” her from dealing with her life in a more supportive way. Being a registered nurse, those were the tools available for her to use. If you have a problem, get medicated to take care of it. That was her way of thinking. Under the influence of that drug, she was raising me the best way she knew how too. In my 30’s, I gradually learned how to like my mom as a person, but it did take a while.

Idealizations can really mess you up. If I wasn’t programmed into thinking families have to be picture-perfect, but instead raised with the teachings of members being allowed to express themselves according to their own heart’s desire, I might’ve been spared a lot of painful growing experiences.

Not to say there isn’t a lot to be said about basic morals, but all of collective society’s IDEALS are purely based on what they were taught when they grew up…and then living their lives thinking those are the laws of the lands and imposing them, at times with various types of force. Whether that force is shame, guilt, fear, or punishment of any kind. “Prisoners” of their own ideals (constructs) teaching/raising others to become “prisoners” and all along believing they are free and teaching love.

THE KICKER: The CRITICAL INNER VOICE LOVES IDEALIZATIONS. Ideals are safe. They’re predictable. The mind loves “knowing” what’s next. Ideals serve as road maps to how we should behave. Ideals are already planned out preconceived lives for us. Does the term “robot” ring a bell? They have nothing to do with living from the Heart. The thinking mind can’t imagine living without ideals/constructs. Anything out of that “box” induces fear. And we’re already taught how fear is to be avoided and NOT experienced (which is another falsehood). We’re not raised to even conceive that the Heart has its own brain. To feel from the Heart, make decisions from the Heart, and not our C.I.V.. (Refer to a previous blog THE HEART’S BRAIN to learn about our second and REAL brain).

Be careful beautiful souls. Idealizations are not our friends. If anything, do the opposite of any ideals. If the crowd is moving towards the right, quietly walk to the left. The crowd, out of fear, will say you’ll be lonely. Gently give them a smile, knowing that looking within your Heart there’s a whole loving world that welcomes you, thus, you can never be alone. Keep walking towards the left.
Lose the idealizations…..then you’ll be on the path to FREEDOM.

September Message of the Month: Gaining Clarity – Finding Stillness

September Message of the Month – Gaining Clarity – Finding Stillness

By Shiela Reed

This month seems to have been about finding stillness in the midst of “chaos” and thus gaining clarity for ourselves.

This can be tough to do when the world around us is just speeding up and seems faster than ever. I myself have been feeling kind of overwhelmed this month partly because I know there are so many new opportunities, partly because I feel like I haven’t finished things I’ve already started, partly because I can feel everybody else feeling the same things… in reality I’m able to slowly see what that means as far as connection to my choices and how this is an important part of me being able to help slow myself down and really let what needs to be important to me come forward rather than trying to find it and grab it and control or manipulate it or project on it.

Some key examples for me this month have been once again noticing how much outside influences (collective energies) can feel like a “bombardment” to my energetic, emotional and physical systems. While mentally I know my “choices” in reaction and projection actually are more influential on the “outcome” (for me personally of course) – it is imperative that I find my place of “stillness” within to “survive” that feeling of overwhelm and bombardment.
Work, personal relationships, being around others and our own mental mind chatter can wreck havoc on us without learning to reconnect to the “still small voice” and quietness within. It does not always mean we have to be in a forest or physically quiet serene place – but at first – when we are learning that reference point again – it absolutely may be necessary. That’s why our environments really do still very much matter!

It is also very easy to retreat and withdraw too far and this isn’t necessarily the best way to balance out the overwhelm either. Yes, it’s necessary sometimes, just to get some “rest” – which can help to regain some clarity. It is important to pay attention to what “comes in for you NEXT” – that we can so easily miss. Kind of like the old saying, if we fall off the bike or horse, get back on and try again. If we are overwhelmed with others we may need a break, but just don’t stay “hidden” too long, right? 🙂 Same goes for if we stay engaged in 3D life and become too engaged in drama or chaos- don’t stay there too long and be fed by the “craziness” of it all and increase the anxiety- allow your heart to lead you to a safe “space” for “retreat”, rest, and stillness – so you can “hear” your inner guidance.

This next month I intend to work on being connected with others a bit more. I have been a bit “retreated” for a little too long, so it’s time to spread my wings a bit and become a more opened soul.
I hope you find some support and guidance in this message of the month and have connected within or will be “still” soon- as you connect with your own loving guidance and awareness.  All the source I have been connected with this month have repeated the importance of being in tune with inner self and more accurate with what you are manifesting through your choices.  The future months in the remainder of this year may be a bumpy ride, but the outcome after the first of the year is very much connected to what we are doing, thinking, and choosing to be connected to RIGHT NOW>

Be well and take care of YOU!
Much love and peace to you all
Shiela

Knowing Someone… What to Consider

Knowing someone… what to consider.

By Shiela Reed

It’s funny how we can think we know someone through social media..or simple encounters and forget these “reflections” are just glimpses of a whole. These partial aspect of a person, come forward for many reasons and it can be easy to “judge” or “perceive” as if we know them.

I imagine this is often how celebrities must feel, as they put forth a part of them or a projection but have many more components that are missed by those that don’t “know them” deeply or personally.
We all do this, we all even share and project without thinking why we are even doing it. Sometimes we are left wondering why we received certain “reactions” – without realizing we may have kind of “invited it”. Yet we hope for and usually are wishing for something else.

Our depth of mindfulness helps us gain some navigation skills in these areas and I always find it interesting how I (we) can fluctuate so much from day to day.
This is the part that has my most attention and awareness these days as the true effort (in my “world” anyway) is being able to learn how to stay closer to the “center”. It is and can be a daily challenge. We are human beings after all.. with free will. We do not all choose the same. We do not see things the same. Yet the many underlying similarities are very much the same. Call them “innate needs” maybe but it goes deeper than that. A deeper desire for compassion, love, and understanding. The other layers of emotions block us from seeing THOSE similarities. Fear, guilt, shame, hate.. take us in the opposite direction and it becomes hard to “see” our own truth.

So we project, we reach out in awkward ways. We assume we know others when we don’t. Others assume they know us, when they don’t. We can easily feel struggles of the insecurities and loneliness this brings and if we succumb to that or become stuck on that loop… the despair, depression, hopelessness, and anxiety that we have “lost control” takes over.

It is my hope that we all are given the Grace and find the opportunities to be REAL people with one another. Minus our judgements and freeing us up to be ok with choosing who is “good for us” (and wanted in our lives) and who is not. While also remembering it is absolutely OK when someone else chooses that we are not for them. It means nothing more than that we are not a good match. Or maybe even not a good match “anymore”. It is OK.

It’s a bit ironic maybe that we also need to learn to do this for ourselves as well. Letting go of habits, routines, thought patterns, etc that no longer serve our higher good, can be just as tough, but equally necessary for our growth.
I guess I share this as a long version of my own thought process and feeling into my emotions utilizing Facebook as one of my main social media platforms. I both enjoy it and dislike it. I have learned I have to be VERY aware of the technological manipulation that surrounds us and how easy it is to “get played”. I’m actually a rather private person. While I will “share” things, I am very conscious of the fact that it is “out there” and can never be taken back. I do not want to “fear” it, but it is a reality. I also know that when I am feeling that place of loneliness and disconnectedness – this (i.e. social media- Facebook) can be both a place of huge support or a driver of further sadness and loneliness. So, yes it can be hard to “choose” how I will “react” – and it is much more so when I don’t know why I am even trying to “know” someone else when I don’t know where I am at for that moment.

I’m kind of laughing right now as I think of the many ways I’ve wanted to “lash out” on Facebook when I am feeling no responses or unsupported. I’ve thought about closing it out completely, I’ve thought I’d do a “lecture” to my “friends” – I’ve thought I’d silently just let it go and delete everyone and start over with individual friend requests. Lol Then I realize it’s silly to have spent that time on something that isn’t even vital to my daily life. Yet I acknowledge my enjoyment on being “in touch” with as many people out there as possible because there is no other platform to do so in such magnitude.

So, I am reminded to “take it all with a grain of salt” – enjoy the parts that like, remember I only know the aspects of people as they show me and they only know me for what I choose to show them. Beyond that, the closest parts of my life are within me and those I choose to physically, emotionally and energetically surround myself with… and the same is true for each of  you.  🙂

Many blessings and open awareness to all – Shiela 🙂